


The New Girl

by kissmelikeapirate



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Friendship, Language, Mutual Pining, New Girl au, Roomates, UST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-13 05:34:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5696947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissmelikeapirate/pseuds/kissmelikeapirate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heartbroken Emma Swan needs a place to live - fast. Killian, Robin and Dave had a spare room. Surely nothing could go wrong here? Surely ladies man Killian Jones can resist her charms? And surely there is no chance of straight talking Emma Swan falling for the hot English guy across the hallway? New Girl AU, as prompted by AthenaScarlett on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Episode 1

“Right, so who do we have left?” Robin asked as the door slammed shut. David was already on his way to open up the windows of the loft, the last candidate for roommate seemingly not having showered in about a month.

“Um,” Killian sighed as he picked up the list. “Well, the accountant cancelled on us so that leaves… E. Swan, apparently they work in bail bonds.”

“E for?” Robin asked.

“No clue,” Killian shrugged, “They emailed from their work address.”   
There was a knock on the door.

“Right on cue,” David smiled as he went to open it.

Killian schooled his features into a neutral expression as he awaited meeting candidate number six. After five awful interviews, he wasn’t overly hopeful. Besides the guy who stank, there was stoner who struggled to string together a sentence, an older guy who spent the whole 20 minutes talking about his divorce, an eBay entrepreneur who asked their thoughts on storing his stock in the loft and the pro-cyclist who explained he was on tour half the year so would only be willing to pay rent for the weeks he was there. Clearly all great prospects so far, he thought with a grimace.

Looking up, he watched David open the door and greet the visitor, then into the loft stepped… a woman.

Make that an incredibly beautiful woman.

She began to walk towards them as David closed the door.

He tossed Robin a quick glance. His friend shrugged his shoulders as both men stood.

“Hi I’m Emma,” the woman greeted them with a tentative smile, reaching out her hand. There was an awkward pause as the men stared and Killian felt his heart begin to race.

“Um-”

Robin saved the day by taking her hand and shaking it, “I’m Robin and this rude fella here is Killian and you’ve already met Dave.”

“Do I hear an accent?” she asked as she sat where David gestured.

“Aye, English,” Roblin explain. “This one too-” he jerked a thumb in Killian’s direction.

“I can speak for myself, mate,” Killian warned, a scowl growing on his face.

“Could have fooled me.”

“I’ve always wanted to go to England,” Emma explained.

“And here we two are trying to escape the place,” Killian joked, feeling pleased with himself when she laughed softly.

“Well, now that we have geopolitics out of the way, how about we talk about you?” David asked.

Emma placed her purse on the couch beside her and nodded, “Sure.”

“So, the ad was for a male roommate, is there something we should know…?” Robin asked.

“No it wasn’t,” Emma insisted.

Killian pulled out his phone, “Yeah, I distinctly remember-” he began as he opened the Craigslist app and checked the listing. “Shit,” he muttered.

“Problem?” Emma asked breezily.

Pushing the phone back in his jeans pocket, Killian replied, “Well it seems a small omission on my part is to blame. You see, this place is a guys place right now, so we were really looking for another bloke…”

Emma’s shoulders sagged a little, “Is that a deal breaker? This is the only apartment in the area I can afford.”

A shadow crossed over her face and Killian quickly felt a need to know what burden this woman was carrying that could mar such pretty features.

“Guys?” Robin asked his friends, looking between the two. David shrugged non committedly and Killian found himself frowning. “Well lass, how about you tell us a bit about yourself and then we can discuss the finer points at the end.”

“Well, I’m Emma Swan, 30 year old non-smoker, gainfully employed with no annoying personal habits. I don’t think.”

“Sounds good so far,” Robin smiled.

“I work in bail bonds, which is long anti-social hours so I guess we won’t be fighting over the shower in the morning,” she joked.

“That sounds exciting,” Robin added.

“Sometimes… Most of the time it’s sitting in a car with a lukewarm coffee until your butt freezes.”

Killian cleared his throat and Emma looked at him, catching his eye for the first time and he saw hers were green. He smiled, feeling his cheeks flush a little as she tucked her hair behind her ears (he’d call it a self-conscious act, but that would be supposition-). He looked at the list of questions they had drawn up earlier that morning, forgetting for a moment what he was going to ask.

“Um,” he mumbled as his eyes scanned the page, “Why are you looking to move?”

And that’s when her face really fell. What had been a sunny expression quickly turned into one resembling a rainy day. “Full disclosure?” she asked, looking from face to face. “My boyfriend cheated on me. With a co-worker of his.”

There was an awkward little silence.

“Actually,” Emma sighed nibbling on her lip in a way that Killian tried not to find attractive given the circumstances (and failed) “Truth be told I caught them, in the act so so speak.”

“Ouch,” Robin hissed as David let out a low whistle.

Killian reached over and laid his hand over hers where it lay on the couch. She flinched a little in surprise, before looking up with a sad expression. “A bastard like that doesn’t deserve a woman like you.”

“Like me?” she asked, tilting her head as she almost smiled.

Pulling back Killian jostled his shoulders a little as he tried to look natural. “I mean you seem very nice, that is.”

“Okay,” she nodded with a small laugh, “Well, anyway, as you can see I need to move asap and I work like ten minutes from here but it’s enough neighbourhoods away that I don’t have to bump into him at the grocery store or whatever,” She shook her head, “I’m crashing at my friend’s studio right now but I really need my own space.”

“Well our room is available now,” Robin pointed out.

“Wait a minute - guys can I speak to you? In the kitchen?” David jerked his head towards the it.

The three men reconvened behind the shiny laminate cabinets.  

“A girl, really?” he asked as he folded his arms.

“I’d say she’s more of a woman,” Robin quipped.

“Not helpful,” David warned, “I just don’t know how Mary Margaret will take this.”

“You know she won’t care mate, she’ll probably be inviting the poor lass to that damned book club of hers and roping her into that infernal knitting circle that she somehow talked you into letting her host here!” Killian exclaimed. Because it wasn’t like he didn’t like Mary Margaret (in fact it would be impossible not to) but she did have the police officer wrapped around her little finger pretty tight.

“Actually now I think about it, I’m not sure Regina would be overly keen. She does have a bit of a jealous streak.”

Killian stared at the other two. “Are you really going to let your girlfriends make a decision like this for you?”

“What - are you saying you want to offer her the room?” Robin retorted.

And Killian stopped for a second to think about the situation. How would guys nights go with a woman in the house? Would Monday Night Football be replaced by Shonda Rhimes’s latest drama on the tv? Would she start trying to make the place more ‘feminine’?

“Yeah, Killian, I mean you know she’d be off limits - that goes without saying - but how do you think she would react to the parade of one night stands you trawl through this place?”

Rolling his eyes Killian did briefly consider her reaction to his usual method of scratching a sexual itch. “Look, I can keep it in my pants as far as she is concerned and it’s not like I can’t handle the the shit you guys give me already. And she seems normal and clean and has a job.” He tapped his foot a few times before adding his final reason, “And I feel sorry for her.”

All three men looked at each other again. 

“We could offer her a month’s trial?” Robin suggested. Killian nodded and the two men looked at David. “Get the girls around to meet her, suss everything out. It could work Dave.”

“It’s either her or nothing at the minute I guess… Okay, fine, she’s in,” David nodded and Killian had to resist the urge to break out into a huge grin.

Back in the living room area Emma was scrolling through her phone when the men returned.

“Okay, so we’ve discussed things-” Killian began.

“And we’d like to offer you the room, on a trial basis of course,” Robin quickly added.

“Really?” Emma beamed, springing up from the couch and giving Robin an unexpected hug. “This is amazing, great, thank you so much.” She turned and hugged David next - the poor officer looking like he wasn’t quite sure what to do with his hands - before it was Killian’s turn.

He was half-ready but also not when her arms flung around his neck and he was wrapped in the smell of her perfume and her warmth and the softness of her sweater against his skin and a million other sensations that all assaulted him in the space of a two second embrace.

“So that’s a yes then,” David laughed.

“Hell yes!” she cried, grinning hard, “Can I move in tomorrow? I know it’s quick but-”

“Tomorrow’s fine,” Killian insisted, “I’ll be here all day so you can come by whenever you want.”

“Great then, tomorrow it is.”

Emma shook each of their hands again before she left. Killian walked her to the door this time, offering a final goodbye as he watched her walk down the corridor to the elevators. There was a little light feeling in his chest that he couldn’t quite explain.

He closed the door to find Robin staring at him. “Killian, hands off.”

“I have no idea what you mean,” he replied, shaking his head.

“Mate, this isn’t going to work if you do your usual shag and leave nonsense. There are plenty other women in the city who have yet to fall for your questionable charms - leave this one alone.”

Robin walked back off towards his room as Killian stood and contemplated the turn of events.

Sure she was beautiful and interesting and clearly intelligent… but he could keep it in his pants.

Maybe, though, that would be the least of his problems.


	2. Episode 2

 

So, while it was true that a room in a shared apartment was pretty different from renting a whole house,over the past few months Emma had grown quite used to it. It could even be possible to call her feelings for the apartment ‘fond’ ones. Sure, while the pipes were noisy and sharing one bathroom with three guys could get a little… odorous, she had to admit she liked the sunny aspect of her bedroom and the large walk in wardrobe that she could only have dreamed of in her old place. And, yes, she did quite enjoy the high ceilings and exposed brick walls that gave her room such charm. 

But that wasn’t why she was lying in bed today. Today, she was clinging to her mattress like an overzealous limpet while she waited for the tell-tale sound of heels clacking along the hallway and the slam of the loft door. See, today was  _ Sunday _ , which meant yesterday was Saturday… and that meant Killian Jones had spent the previous evening propping up the bar at his favorite watering hole, The Rabbit Hole. And that also logically meant he had gotten lucky. As he had done at least every weekend since she had moved in.

Not that she cared about such things- really, she didn’t. He was a free man after all... But, as she learned the first time she crossed paths in the hallway with one of Killian’s conquests, meetings like that are awkward with a capital A. 

See, some women didn’t seem to get the fact that grown-ass men can live with the opposite sex with no strings attached. And there were no strings, none at all. But getting that across to Miss-too-tight-mini-dress at 7am was a stretch, even for her. There had been shouting (make that screeching) and finger pointing and (it was all too much for Emma before she’d had her morning java-) then to top it off, Jones had come tumbling out of his room in nought but a pair of very tight - very short - boxer briefs and Emma had been thisclose to throwing in the towel and moving out there and then.

But Jones - damn Jones (as she had taken to calling him) - had somehow soothed the crying banshee and maneuvered her towards the loft door before Emma could blink.

“Smooth moves, Jones,” she’d snapped when he returned, looking at least a little sheepish which was some consolation. “You think the next time you go the the crazy house you could find someone a little lower down on the insanity spectrum?” (She really needed some coffee.)

“Apologies, Swan, I assure you last night she seemed most… normal.”

Hmph, Emma snorted. And then he gave her one of those smiles of his - the cute ones where little dimples pressed into his cheeks and his left eyebrow raised just a little-

(And that’s when she made her mind stop that train of thought immediately-) 

“Anyway, just next time… this happens,” she swallowed and shook her head free of thoughts of Killian in flagrante delicto with the next cookie-cutter bimbo in line, “Just make sure I don’t have to deal with it?”

Nodding solemnly, Killian managed to look almost contrite, half naked as he was-

(And that’s when she really noticed how little he was wearing and that v shaped muscle that spanned his hips and the hair on his chest that went down, down, down-)

“As you wish,” he smiled, thankfully knocking another dangerous thought from her head.

“Um, good,” she nodded, fumbling for the door handle behind her as she backed up and escaped to the sanctuary of her room. 

Coffee forgotten.

***

You see, Killian Jones was just not her type. Yes, he was very handsome. She wasn’t blind. But he was also arrogant, overly flirty and had a list of one night stands that could rival the yellow pages. And he was her roommate.

Of course Robin and David were also very attractive men, but with them it was different. They were both taken, relationship wise, and they’d quickly fallen into that buddy/older brother role that she found herself quite liking, having not had anything like that growing up.

But Killian… he was a different entity. He liked to compliment her, often. He’d learned how she liked her coffee before she’d even finished moving in all her boxes and invariably there was one waiting for her when she dragged herself out of bed (except on Sundays, of course). He had a penchant for tight pants and shirts unbuttoned almost to his waist, which in itself was not a problem but in the weeks since she had moved in it had become somewhat of a… distraction of sorts.

Now, let’s get one thing clear. Emma Swan was not interested in being a notch on Captain Innuendo’s bedpost. Or anything else to him for that matter. But even though her relationship with Walsh Doyle had ended just a few months earlier, their sex life had descended into nothingness long before that. And being a normal, adult woman she had needs… needs that were just about satisfied by her handy (and thank god, quiet) rabbit ‘toy’ but that didn’t mean she wasn’t affected by close proximity to all…  _ that _ . She was only human.

Her  best friend Ruby thought it was all hilarious.

“Why don’t you just have sex with him and then all that tension will disappear,” she’d insisted the next Saturday night. “You’ve never had a problem with one night stands before,” she smirked over her wine glass.

“First - there is no tension -,” Emma had retorted from the depths of her wardrobe, “-And secondly, even if there was that would be the worst idea ever. His room is across the hall, Ruby.”

“And?”

Emma leaned out from behind the wardrobe door and arched an eyebrow at her friend.

“Point taken,” she nodded as she took another sip of wine, “Well then, I think tonight, being your three and half month anniversary of finally dumping that loser Walsh-”

“Ruby-” Emma warned.

“-I think that tonight we find you a guy to scratch that itch to stop you getting all hot and bothered over Mr. Sexy Pants across the hall.”

Emma opened her mouth to protest Ruby’s embellishments but she knew she was wasting her breath. She’d decided Killian Jones had a thing for Emma within five minutes of meeting him and then another five minutes later she had decided Emma had a bit of a thing for him too. And once Ruby Lucas set her mind on an idea there was little way of changing her mind. And perhaps finding a guy for the night wasn’t the worst idea her friend had ever had.

“Alright then, cupid, how about you come help me pick out a ‘I need to get laid’ outfit then?”

Ruby grinned and advanced towards where she stood.

(Emma swore Ruby looked like a predatory wolf when she smiled like that.)

***

Okay, so it wasn't a complete bust. 

After hitting three bars and knocking back twice that number in creeps and weirdos, she’d met Matt. Well dressed, good sense of humor, nice cologne. Numbers were exchanged (despite Ruby’s suggestions she ‘pounce’ on him). And three days later she was getting ready for dinner and drinks (and maybe more).

There was a knock on her door just as she was slipping on the red spiked heels that killed her feet but made her legs look amazing (or so Walsh used to say. Urgh).

“Come in,” she called, fastening the strap as the door opened.

“Hey, Emma, um… wow.”

There was a low whistle and she looked up to see Killian standing in the doorway his jaw loose and a fuckstruck look on his face.

“What’s up, Jones?”

“I was just about to ask if you wanted to split some Chinese takeout but I’m getting the impression that you may be overdressed for such a domestic activity.”

“How very observant,” Emma drawled, sinking her hand on her hip and letting herself flirt with him, just a little bit.

“So, is it ladies night somewhere…?” he asked with a teasing tilt of his head as he slipped one of his own hands onto his belt buckle.

Emma was used to his nosiness by now, and while it was tempting to tease him, now seemed like a time to be quite upfront. “I have a date.”

“A date?” he echoed, raising his eyebrows.

Emma rolled her own eyes as she went to pick up her purse, “You know, dinner, a few drinks, maybe a dance or two.”

“Ah,” he smirked, “I’m well versed in the art of dating, love, I just thought you were still, how should I put it, ‘off the market’?”

Shrugging, she checked the purse for her keys, card and lipstick, “I’ve decided it’s time to get back on the old horse, as they say. Can’t let one asshole dictate how I live the rest of my life.”

“Too right, lass,” he replied, a little too lasciviously, especially when you added in the way he ran his tongue over his bottom lip, just as a crop of dark hair fell over his eyes. A flash of attraction snared Emma’s gut in it’s wake as she watched her roommate watch her, and the quiet moment lasted just a little too long to be comfortable-

“Well, gee, look at the time, I’m going to be late!” she breezed, taking quick steps towards the door and willing him to move out of the way.

“Sometimes it’s good to keep a man waiting, Swan, builds anticipation.”

(And God the way he said the word anticipation send a shiver up her spine-).

“I’m too old for playing games,” she replied with a tight smile, breathing a sigh of relief when he stepped out of the way and let her pass into the hallway.

“Pity,” he called behind her as her made her way quickly to the loft doorway, trying to brush away the whatever that had just happened between them. “Some games can be quite fun Swan.”

Then she should have just called out a goodbye and escaped the apartment (and him) right away, but stupid, self-punishing Emma had to look back over her shoulder to see him with his arms folded, lying nonchalantly against the hallway wall, his blue eyes all mischievous and daring-

She couldn’t stop herself replying, “Oh wouldn’t you like to know,” before slipping out of the apartment and slamming the door closed behind her before he had time to say anything.

Letting her heart rate slow as she waited for the elevator she reminded herself of the multitude of reasons why her roommate was off limits and tried to prepare herself for her date with Max. Mark.  _ Matt _ . Oh crap.

 


	3. Episode 3

It wasn’t that it bothered him, Emma dating this ‘Matt’ fellow. Four dates (not that he was counting) would barely register on a meter of long term relationships anyway. It was just that, well, he seemed completely wrong for her.

Emma Swan was a great roommate  \- tidy, sane  and paid the rent on time. She had a liking for The Walking Dead that matched only his own, shared his and Robin’s love of Chinese takeout and was one of the few people he had met on this damned continent who could give him a run for his money on the dart board.

Over the past few months they had entered into what could be called a tentative friendship - marked by sparring battles over who used the last of the coffee and who deleted who’s shows from the DVR. And maybe a tiny bit of flirting (only when Dave and Robin weren’t around of course, they’d already given him a dozen lectures on why he couldn’t screw around with the new roommate).

But that still didn’t mean that he cared that she was about to go on her fifth date with this Matt bloke. Nor that after the last two dates she was not home before his shift ended at The Rabbit Hole.

He was just being a good mate and looking out for her. This Matt, he was just so…. vanilla. The two times he had met the guy (albeit for less than five minutes each time, but that’s a minor point) he had seemed so straight laced and dull. He couldn’t imagine spending an evening in his company, let alone what Emma - spunky, lively Ms. Swan - saw in his grey suits and perfectly side-parted hair.

He was, of course, not mulling over these thoughts as he pulled on a fresh shirt and prepared for a last minute shift at the aforementioned bar.

“Killian?”

Dave’s voice reverberated through the room as he peeked his head around the door.

“You ready for guy’s night?”

Killian turned as he finished buttoning his shirt, “Can’t mate, Andre’s called in sick, gotta cover the late shift at work.”

“Again?” David scoffed, “That’s the third time this month you’ve had to do that.”

“Don’t I know it,” Killian grimaced.

Killian didn’t hate his job - far from it. He was a sociable man, so chatting to the patrons made each shift go easily and it was not the most taxing of jobs mentally. But, it wasn’t exactly his dream to work behind a bar. His visa was actually initially to study law… then somewhere along the line life had thrown him a curveball ( _ Milah, her name was Milah) _ and dropping out of college and tending bar had seemed like his only option.

That was almost ten years ago now.

“Look, why don’t you and Robin come prop up the bar for me, I’ll throw some free drinks your way and if we’re lucky it’ll be quiet and I can shut up before midnight and we could check out that new club?”

It was Thursday and he knew the other two had to work the next day, but he also knew even Dave couldn’t resist the lure of a free bar tab.

“Not too late though?” his friend asked cautiously.

“Course not,” Killian grinned, “Just long enough to show the lasses what they could be regretting in the morning.”

David shook his head, “Ever the ladies man, eh Jones?”

“I can’t deny it,” Killian deadpanned.

“I guess the chances of you ever maturing are rapidly diminishing.”

“You know I tried that maturity thing back in college - didn’t work out.”

David looked like he was going to say something else, but the seemed to think better of it. “Well I’m sure the women of Los Angeles are thankful for that.”

Raising an eyebrow suggestively, Killian watched his friend shake his head, “Right mate, give me five and we’ll head off.”

***

Killian rubbed down the bar for what felt like the hundredth time that night, alternately sipping at a rum on the rocks as he waited for Robin and David to return from playing a game of pool. It was certainly a slow night, even for a Thursday. The regulars were propped up on their barstools and only half a dozen other tables were occupied so the prospects of shutting the bar an hour early were looking good.

A gust of air and the sound of the outer door banging shut signaled the arrival of a new patron, Killian was straightening his body as the inner door to the bar opened and in stepped a woman in a whirl of blonde hair and red leather jacket. It was Emma.

She was three steps closer by the time he composed himself and placed his standard, cocky smile on his face. “Well love, isn’t this a surprise?”

He grinned saucily as she tugged off her jacket and took a seat on one of the stools that surrounded the bar. “Don’t get used to it,” she warned as he placed a napkin in front of her.

Killian was certainly not going to get used to it - although Robin and David frequented The Rabbit Hole on at least a weekly basis, she worked late most nights and he’d noticed her drinking habits at home mostly involved a glass of wine in the evening, if that.

“What can I get you?” he asked.

“Jack on the rocks,” she replied, tossing her purse on the bar and then watching him as he selected a glass and the bottle of liquor. Killian felt strangely self-conscious as he worked, even though it was a simple drink to prepare he almost dropped the tumbler as he filled it with ice.

“Whoa there, you been drinking on the job?” she teased as he poured the whiskey.

“Just the one, love,” he promised.

“Hmm, if you say so,” she smiled as he placed her drink in front of her.

Returning the bottle to the shelves behind the bar, he couldn’t help his curiosity, “Now, as much as I would love to believe you are here for a social visit, I’m assuming there is some other reason?”

“Busted,” she admitted with a tilt of her head, “Matt’s office is a few blocks away and I’m meeting him for a drink when he’s done working late.”

“Mmmm,” Killian nodded, running a hand through his hair as he tried not to look bothered, “So is this like a … thing now?”

“A thing?” she laughed, drink in hand.

Dipping his head, Killian mustered his most in-control and nonplussed look. “You know what I mean, darling.”

Emma, for her part, ran her tongue along her bottom lip and tucked her hair behind her ears. He could read her like a book. She was hiding something. “Oh, are you breaking up with him then?”

“No,” she scoffed, shaking her head whilst running one fingertip around the ring of her glass, “It’s just-”

She paused, jaw slack, head tilted to one side.

“What?” he asked, narrowing his eyes as he placed his palms on the bar.

She licked her bottom lip again, this time following the action by biting down on it with her top teeth. 

(He wished she wouldn’t do that.)

“Nothing,” she insisted, half smiling - not enough to reach her eyes.

“Emma,” he drawled, pulling out his silkiest accent, “I know you’re lying.”

She glared back, knocking back the rest of her drink before tapping it on the bar to request a refill.

Grabbing the bottle of Jack, he obliged, watching carefully as she spun the new contents of the glass - Dave and Robin now all but forgotten.

“Okay- well, since if I don’t tell you I won’t hear the end of it-” she took a deep breath, “I haven’t slept with Matt yet and I’m thinking there is something wrong with me.”

She spoke so fast, all the words blurred together.

Killian wrinkled his forehead, recoiling a little as he responded, “Why the devil would you think that?”

Emma shrugged, “God I feel so pathetic. Six months without sex and I’m already contemplating celibacy. He hasn’t even tried to put the moves on.”

( _ Bloody fool _ , Killian thought.)

“God no, that would be a travesty,” he replied quickly, his cheeks pinking a little at the way she raised her brow. He let a second pass. “You just need to be a bit more forward, is all. You’ve been out of the dating game for over a year, things move fast now. It’s all Tinder and e-dates and the like - the modern dater has to be very clear about what they want.”

“I forgot you were the dating king of this neighborhood,” Emma chuckled, “God, I just wish this was easier.”

“Just why are you dating this guy again?”

Emma sat back on her stool, taking a quick glance at her watch, “He’s nice and normal - and I wouldn’t really call it dating, not really. Just ‘ _ dates _ ’. I don’t even know if I’m ready to dive back into all that.”

Killian felt a wave of unexpected relief wash over him.

“So you’re going to all this trouble for sex? Emma, hate to break it to you but you in that red dress of yours in any club could have your pick of guys. If that’s what you want.”

“God, you’re just like Ruby,” she groaned, sinking her head to the bar and pressing her forehead against the glossy wood.

“Emma-?”

She sat back up, sucking in a deep breath. “I guess I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. Maybe I should end this now, I kinda feel like I’m leading him along.”

“Well, that’s your choice, love,” he replied, suppressing a grin, ignoring the jolt of satisfaction he felt at Emma being a single (dateless) and unattached woman. “But believe me when I say there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, quite the contrary. And any bloke who can’t see that, well,” he shrugged, “He may need medical advice.”

She bit back a smile. “You have to say that, you’re my roommate.”

Killian’s shoulders fell a little, “Actually, I perhaps shouldn’t say that because I’m your roommate.”

She looked at him across the bar, her green eyes fixed on his a moment and Killian felt the breath catch in his throat. She tilted her head as if she were going to reply-

“Emma!” both span around to see Matt. Killian bit back a look of annoyance at his bland grey suit and plain silk tie.

“Speak of the devil,” Killian muttered under his breath.

Emma got up to hug Killian just as  David and Robin reentered the main bar and the moment was over. The intimate moment was gone.

There was barely time for the other roommates to greet her, before Matt announced he had made dinner reservations and she was slipping on her jacket again and downing her Jack. She tried to pay but he insisted it was on the house, more focused instead on watching Matt lay his arm over her shoulders and whisper into her ear as they walked out of the door.

***

The club was one of the better to open in the neighborhood in recent years, though David complained that he felt about ten years too old for the place. The beat, some beers and a night with his buddies had managed to almost wipe the memory of Killian’s conversation with Emma away. Or at least push it to the back of his mind.

They wandered back into the apartment just shy of 2am. Robin was drunkenly trying to text Regina (that will go down well, Killian had thought) while David was almost asleep before Killian had even walked him into his room.

Once Robin’s door was closed, the loft was quiet and Killian decided to make a cup of tea to help him sleep. It was perhaps the one English trait that had stayed with him over the years, a true enough cliche, but nothing calmed him like a cup of Earl Grey.

The kettle was boiling when there was the sound of a door opening and footsteps along the corridor from the bedrooms. Killian sighed, before shouting over his shoulder, “Mate, if you’ve thrown up again I’ll-”

“You’ll what?”

It was then that the footsteps belonged not to his law-enforcing roommate, but actually his now rather scantily dressed, female roommate.

“Uh… Hi Emma,” he cringed, trying not to look at the acres of leg exposed underneath the long t-shirt she was wearing. “Did we wake you?”

“Nah,” she insisted, “I’m a night owl. Is that tea you’re making?”

He nodded, “Want one?”

“Please,” she grinned.

Selecting another cup, he went about making the drinks, leaving the tea bags to brew before turning back to her.

“So, you’re a secret tea drinker then,” she teased.

“You have discovered my devastating secret, how can I buy your silence?” he replied with a waggle of his eyebrows.

She laughed and leaned forward on the countertop, “I just thought it was liquor or nothing with you.”

“Well I guess I’m full of surprises,” he drawled, copying her pose, meeting her eyes and feeling a lot like she was flirting with him.

Again.

She bit her lip again, “You’re not the only one,” she quipped.

Another something hung heavy in the air until Emma quickly drummed her nails against the countertop.

“So, good night?” she asked. (And that’s when he noticed her mussed up hair and just how pretty she was without a hint of makeup on her face.)

“Yeah, I guess,” he shrugged, standing back up. “And you-?”

“I guess,” she copied. “Actually, better than good. Thank you for the advice.”

“Advice?”

(Damn, she did it, she broke up with him, no more vanilla Matt, no more grey suits-)

“About just going for it. I did and…  _ we  _ did.”

“You-”

_ The penny dropped. _

“Oh,” he sighed, turning back to the cups of tea so she wouldn’t see his disappointed expression. “Congratulations, I guess.”

After removing the tea bags, he straightened his shoulders and placed one in front of her.

“I feel…” she began, wrapping her hands around the tea, “Glad.”

“Glad?” he echoed flatly.

( _ If he’d have been lucky enough to have Emma Swan in his bed she’d have been feeling a lot more than glad-  _ but that was a thought he should not have been having.)

“Yeah,” she nodded lightly, “It’s like pulling off a band-aid, I confronted my fear. The sexual drought is over and I am a new woman. And I have you to thank, Killian.”

“Uh, no problem,” he replied, caught off guard slightly as she leaned over the counter and pressed a kiss against his cheek.

“Anyway, I gotta go,” she continued, picking up her cup and heading back towards the bedrooms, “‘Night Killian.”

“Night love,” he replied, a frown on his forehead, a scalding hot cup of tea in his hands and a tingling sensation where her lips had left their mark.

**A/N: So Emma's moved on with Matt, that means no chance for Killian, right? Just kidding. Coming up: Killian lends Emma a hand, wedding bells ring and did anyone say drinking game?**


	4. Episode 4

**Episode Four**

 

Things fizzled out with Matt almost as soon as they had begun. Emma had tried to muster a little disappointment when he had given her ‘the talk’ a couple of weeks after they had finally slept together, but even as he was muttering about ‘compatibility’ and ‘spark’, she could only bring herself to feel relieved. It was never going to go anywhere, so him doing the job of breaking up actually made things easier. 

Sure, she maybe felt a little guilty. She’d only dated him to rebuild her confidence. A new relationship was honestly the last thing on her mind. Walsh had burned her pretty bad and though she’d taken that first step back into the dating world, opening up her heart was another matter entirely.

***

It was a rare Saturday morning free of work when Emma found herself lounging about on the couch when the door to the loft opened.

“Robin? Where are you? Picked up any more waifs and strays while I was gone?”

Emma knew the voice before she looked.

“Regina,” she hissed, twisting around to see Robin’s girlfriend walk into the living room.

“Where is he?”

“Nice to see you too,” Emma quipped, folding her arms on the back of the couch, “And I have no idea where-”

“Regina!”

Robin was at his girlfriend’s side in a second, picking her up and spinning her around as he sank a heavy kiss on her lips.

(Urgh, thought Emma, get a room…)

It was only then that Emma realized that Regina was rather dressed up in a blue formal sheath dress and Robin was wearing and actual suit (and tie).

“Fancy date today?” Emma asked.

Robin was busy nuzzling Regina’s neck and took a second to notice she’d asked a question. “Oh, this?” he asked with a crinkly-eyed smile, “An old buddy’s wedding.”

“Oh,” Emma sighed, the word ‘wedding’ immediately putting a sour note on the conversation.

(And not because she was a woman and obsessed with the institution… but yes, she’d thought about where things with Walsh would go and she’d be lying if she said she never considered marrying him and thought about the day and the dress and all those million stupid little things you do when you think you’re in love-)

“An old college friend to be exact,” added David who had joined them. Equally dapper in a grey pinstripe, Emma had to admit her roommates scrubbed up well.

“Sometimes I’m glad I skipped college,” Emma beamed in reply.

“Well I might be wishing the same thing too, soon.”

“Something up” Robin asked.

Dave ran his hand over his face and frowned. “I just heard Milah will be attending.”

“Milah?” Robin repeated, “Oh shit.”

“Milah who?” Regina interrupted, tapping her patent covered toe on the hardwood floor.

“Milah my ex, that’s who.”

The four turned around to see Killian had emerged, phone in hand, tie hanging limply around his neck.

“The one who ruined your life?” Regina quipped.

“Darling!” Robin cried, taking hold of her arm and pulling her towards his room.

Killian took the few steps needed to sit on the armchair opposite the couch, his hands sinking into his hair.

“Mate, we can pass on this if you want. Danny will understand-”

“And look like a pathetic loser? Still ruined by a woman almost a decade later? No chance.”

Emma felt herself shrink into the couch, suddenly feeling out of place.

“Well then, I guess you’re just going to have to suck it up.”

“Or maybe not,” announced Regina, sashaying back into the conversation with her hand on her hip, “We have a solution.”

“You do?” Killian scoffed, disbelief borne from a prickly relationship with his friend’s girlfriend written all over his face. “Because right now my plan is to knock back a quart of rum and see what happens.”

“So you can embarrass yourself - and us? No way. Now, what better way is there to show your ex you have moved on than to be in another relationship?”

“Uh, in case you haven’t noticed Regina, that’s not exactly his style,” David replied, giving Killian a tentative smile.

She rolled her eyes in response, “It doesn’t have to be real. Just a ruse for the day.”

“And how the hell am I supposed to sort that out? The wedding starts in two hours.”

It was then that Emma realized that Regina and Robin were looking at her, pointed looks on their faces.

“Whoa, leave me out of this,” she responded, raising her hands as she understood what they were implying.

“Now before you say no, I think you should at least think about it,” Robin pleaded.

Emma looked across at Killian. There was a scowl on his face and she’d never seem him look so preoccupied.

“But it’s a ridiculous idea.”

“Too right,” Killian said, finally snapping from his stupor and standing. “It’ll be fine, really. I’ll just stay out of her way. Not much more the damned woman can do to me now anyway.”

His eyes moved to fix on the floor and - damn it - Emma felt sorry for him.

“Well…” she began with a sigh, mentally calculating all the ways this could go spectacularly wrong.

“We do have an extra invitation, since Mary Margaret couldn’t make it,” David added.

Emma could feel her resolve crumbling.

“Look blondie, you do this and there is a small chance we might all actually have a good time. You don’t and…” Regina finished her little speech with a shrug. Next to her, Robin’s eyes were wide and pleading.

“I’m so glad you all have so much faith in me,” Killian scoffed, his mouth set in a firm line.

And she cracked.

“Fine, I’ll play pretend - but only because I know if I don’t I won’t hear the end of it.” Emma stood and spun around to face Killian, “And you have got to be on your best behavior,” she warned, waggling her finger at him in the manner of a stern school teacher.

“Perfect gentleman,” he insisted with a less than believable grin.

***

The strapless red dress was a little wrinkled from being hung at the back of her closet for so long, but it was the most ‘wedding’ suitable one she owned, and when topped off with a little lace shrug it didn’t look too bad. She’d quickly curled her hair and added a layer of makeup in record time. Within 40 minutes she was ready and stepping out of her room. Killian was waiting, standing propped against the hallway wall, “Well it’s about time-” he began as he looked up, his jaw slackening as he took her in, a genuine smile curving on his lips. “You look…”

“I know,” she shrugged, staving off the threatening blush his look was giving her and making quick steps to the door. “Come on Jones, we’re going to be late.”

She was just walking past, when his hand grazed her waist and she turned back her head. His expression was coy, almost shy, and for a second she assumed he was going to give her one of his lines. But instead the smile left his face and he simply whispered, “Thank you.”

For a second, she froze, not quite sure how to respond, confused almost by the rare expression of vulnerability he seemed to wear.

“That’s what friends are for,” she finally replied, a little breathlessly.

“Aye,” he nodded, “Of course.” Then he pushed away from the wall and walked past her to the living room.

***

The hotel was across town and the LA traffic meant they were taking their seats only moments before the wedding march began and two people Emma had never met pronounced their love for one another. 

Sandwiched between David and Killian, Emma forgot almost why she was there until Killian took a hold of her hand, whispering in her ear. “I can see her.”

Deciding that if she was going to play pretend girlfriend, she may as well do a good job, she responded by inching closer to the Brit, lying her head on his arm and letting her body rest against his as the minister said his piece. Killian for his part, slipped his free arm over her shoulder. To the bystander she was sure they looked like a happy couple. 

(And if she quite enjoyed being so close to him and his arm, chest and nice cologne, well, who cared?)

Vows finished, the couple left and most of the guests followed out to the bar.

That’s when  _ she _ made her move.

“And here she comes,” muttered David from beside her. She felt Killian stiffen a little, but he didn’t withdraw his arm, instead he curled his fingers around her shoulder in an almost protective gesture.

“Milah,” Killian greeted flatly as a glossy haired brunette walked down the row of chairs in front of them.

“Killian, David” she nodded, tucking her purse under her arm. Emma took a moment to study the woman who seemingly ruined her roommate's life. She was clearly older than Killian, but groomed to within an inch of her life, with wide blue eyes and perfectly formed, glossy red lips. 

“It’s been…” he began.

“A while,” Milah finished, her eyes lingering on his face in a way that made Emma feel suddenly possessive.

“I’m Emma,” she interjected, reaching out her hand, “His girlfriend.” 

At that moment, Emma almost wished she could have recorded the way Milah recoiled slightly, her lips curling back in surprise as her eyebrows shot up into her bangs.

“O-oh,” she faltered, bestowing upon Emma a sickly sweet smile as she wrapped her manicured hand around the blonde’s. “I didn’t know you were dating, Killian.”

“I don’t remember having to update you about my relationship status, love,” Killian snipped. Emma could feel the waves of vexation rolling off him and he’d only been in her presence for a minute.

“We’re very serious,” Emma insisted, pulling back her hand and using it to curl around the lapel of Killian’s suit. “I’m hoping for a ring of my own soon, aren’t I Killy?”

She grinned and turned to Killian, tugging on his coat until he looked away from his ex and into her eyes. Keeping the fake smile on her face, she stared into his baby blues, mentally urging him to play along and not let this woman get to him. As she looked at him, she had a chance to admire his thick black eyelashes and the flecks of sapphire in his irises. He had really beautiful eyes.

Finally, he pulled Emma a little tighter to him, resting his chin on her head as her face pressed into his chest. “Aye, though I do like to keep the lass on her toes.”

“Hmph,” Milah huffed, folding her arms and looking less than pleased.

( _ Bitch _ , Emma thought).

“Well, um, congratulations I guess.” Her eyes drifted to Emma’s other side. “No Mary Margaret today David?” she asked with a sniff. 

“She’s at a conference,” David explained, giving her a plastic smile.

“Oh,” Milah replied, and Emma couldn’t help but think that the older woman was hoping for a more permanent reason for the other woman’s absence. “Well, I best be…” she pointed towards the exit from the ceremony room. “It’s been…”

“Yeah, it has,” Killian finished, nodding slightly as Milah scuttled away.

Emma let out a deep sigh. 

“Well that wasn’t too bad, was it?”

Killian didn’t reply. Emma turned to look at David, “Well considering the last time Killian saw her he punched a hole in a wall I’d say we’ve done well without any visits to the ER.”

“The night is still young,” Killian grumbled from her other side, standing as he spoke and a frown forming on his face.

“Mate,” David replied,”You’ve got the hard part over, now just give her a wide berth. It’s not like you have to talk to her again.”

“Aye I suppose,” Killian sighed, pushing his hands through his hair, “It’s just-” he shook his head, “Everytime I see her it’s like I’m 21 again.”

Emma stood, placing a soft hand on his arm, feeling a sudden warmth and compassion for him that surprised her as much as the forlorn expression on his face. “But you’re not. Come on, I think a drink right now is just what you need to take the edge off lady ice queen’s visit.”

Killian smiled, “Now that’s a name for her that I’d never thought of before.”

“It’s quite appropriate,” David added, “She’s always been a little chilly.”

Killian laughed lightly, nodded as Emma urged him to stand. “Yeah, I supposed she was in hindsight.”

“See, you’re feeling better already,” Emma insisted as she led the way, only half believing in her own words.

***

Emma knew Killian could handle his drink - he worked in a bar and went out drinking at least a couple of times a week, but the way he was knocking back the rum after dinner had even her concerned. Dinner was just over and they were still sat at their table; Regina and Robin seemed mostly wrapped up in themselves whilst David had slipped away to phone his girlfriend, leaving Emma to watch him as he worked his way through a bottle with frightening speed. 

“Hey, maybe you should slow it down?” she suggested as he poured another glass. Killian glanced at her, raising an eyebrow as he continued.

“And why would I do that?” he slurred, giving her a pointed look.

Emma shook her head, “Because I’m sure your blood is 50% alcohol right now and I don’t want to have to haul your drunk ass home before the dancing starts.”

“So you’re having a good time?” he asked, surprised.

She shrugged, “Yeah, I guess. First wedding I’ve been to in forever. It’s not quite as painful as I remembered.”

“The free bar helps, does it not?” he grinned.

“Doesn’t hurt,” she nodded, taking her glass of wine and raising it, “But maybe you should get a soda next?”

He began to smile, but then the expression fell. She saw him looking across the room. Emma followed his line of sight and saw Milah sitting on the lap of an older guy with grey hair. She was all over him.

“Who’s she with?” she asked quietly.

“Her husband.”

“Oh,” Emma sighed, spinning the stem of her wine glass between her fingers. “You know, if you want to talk about it-”

Abruptly Killian stood and knocked back the rest of his glass of rum. He tore his eyes away from his ex and looked back at his roommate. “Actually, I don’t. Excuse me.”

And before Emma could reply, he had walked away.

***

Going after him was Emma’s first instinct, but then she thought better and decided maybe he needed a little space. She knew very little about what had happened between him and Milah - just some cryptic mentions by the other guys of a woman who’d ‘screwed him over’ as some explanation of Killian’s womanizing tendencies. Of course her curiosity had grown now she’d met the woman and seen the change in his demeanour in her presence. The confidence seemed to seep out of him. 

The band had started playing soon after he disappeared and she’d taken the chance to dance a little with David while Regina and Robin swayed pressed against each other even to the most up-tempo songs. Five songs in, she’d needed to cool down and had left the dance floor to get a drink.

And then she saw him, full glass of rum in his hand, slumped against the wall, his eyes trained on Milah’s table.

“Crap,” she muttered to herself, knowing that she needed to act right now before Killian did something he regretted.

“Hey Jones,” she smiled as she made her way to where he stood.

“Swan,” he drawled. His eyes were glassy and his tie tugged to one side. He looked a mess.

“I see you didn’t take my advice about the liquor,” she pointed out, glancing at the glass.

“It helps,” he shrugged, rum chugging over the side of the glass and landing with a splat on the wooden floor.

“Yeah…” she murmured, looking around for someplace they could talk. Then she saw it. “Hey, come with me will you?”

Killian looked again at Milah’s table. Emma sighed in annoyance. 

“She’ll still be there when we get back. C’mon.”

He looked at her curiously before reaching down and picking up the bottle of rum that she hadn’t realised was on the floor, “Lead the way, love.”

The photo booth was tucked away in a corner. It was one of those tacky wedding ones with a boxful of props outside and the couple’s name emblazoned on it. It was also the only private spot in the busy room. 

“You want a picture with me Swan? How sweet,” he chuckled as she pulled him inside and shut the curtain. “Or did you just want to get me alone?”

Although the line was classic Killian, the delivery lacked the normal swagger.

“You have discovered my dastardly plan,” she nodded, jabbing him in the side with her elbow as they sat on the narrow bench. 

Killian went to take another drink and Emma grabbed the glass from his hand. “You need to sober up before you do something you regret.”

“My life is already full of regrets, love, one more won’t hurt.”

The pain in his voice was clear to see. She’d never thought Killian had a vulnerable side, but here it was plain to see.

“What happened?” she asked quietly.

He took the bottle and began to twist off the cap. “You really want to know?”

“You’re my friend Killian and around her, you’re not you. So I would like to know, I mean, if you want to tell me that is.”

He sighed and lay back against the booth wall, taking a quick sip of rum. “I met her Junior year of college. She was a bit older - glamorous, sophisticated. And here she was interested in someone like me.” He shifted in his seat, rubbing his free palm over the leg of his pants. 

And there is was - the man beneath the bravado - the young guy who’d been hurt. The Killian she knew melted away as he scratched behind his ear and revealed a glimpse of hidden insecurity that Emma had never imagined existed.

“And?” she whispered.

“Like a bloody fool I fell for everything she said; that she loved me and wanted us to be together. I let her bloody string me along for a year.”

“So she was lying to you?” Emma asked, turning to look at his profile in the darkened booth - all strong scruff covered jaw and dishevelled hair. She realised then that she had only just scratched the surface on who he really was - that maybe she had judged him a little too quickly.

Killian nodded. “She was married, Emma. To a very rich, powerful man.”

“Oh.” Emma could already see where this was going.

“Yes, oh indeed. Anyway, I was stupid and believed her - gave her my heart if you will - but she had no intention of leaving him. I was just her bit of fun.”

“Did her husband ever find out?”

He shook his head, “Luckily no, but it all came to a head Christmas of my senior year when I begged her to come back to England with me for the holidays. That’s when it all came out - that she’d lied and pretended and that really I meant nothing more to her than a shag.”

“Oh Killian,” Emma sighed.

“And I know I was in the wrong for dating a married woman- but-”

Placing her hand on Killian’s arm, Emma squeezed it a little to express her understanding. He was young and impressionable. She’d crushed his heart.

“So I went off the rails a bit and ended up flunking out of college one semester from graduation. And that’s when I decided relationships and I were done for good.”

He finished his story by reaching forward and pushing the picture button on the booth. For a few seconds there was silence except for the three flashes of light that signalled pictures were being taken.

“I get it - you know. I got burned too, when I was not much younger than you were.”

Killian took another sip of rum. “Oh? Some high school jock not go to prom with you?”

Emma knew he was hurting so she ignored the jibe in there. “Not quite. But I had my heart broken. And I know if I ever saw him again… well, I know I’d find it hard. So what I’m trying to say is I understand. There’s no statute of limitation on these feelings. When you love someone and they screw you over, well, it stays with you.”

“So no lecture about how I should have moved on by now? That’s Dave’s usual response - I get it at least once a year.”

“It’s your life,” she shrugged, “You choose to live it the way you want.”   
“And that’s it?”

“Are you asking my advice Killian or looking for a fight?”

He didn’t reply, instead stared at her intensely, the air in the booth becoming suddenly too hot.

“You do what’s right for you. But if you want my honest opinion, all this wallowing in self pity didn’t help ten years ago and it isn’t helping now. Maybe it’s time to move on.”

And with that, Emma pulled open the curtain and made her way back to the dance floor.

***

Pulling on a smile, she rejoined David, Robin and Regina (who’d finally allowed a few inches between their bodies). She shook out her feelings in the up-tempo numbers, the minutes tumbling by. Talking with Killian had brought back memories of her own failed teenage romance, something that she’d tried not to think about for a long time.

Almost an hour had passed when she felt a tapping on her shoulder made her turn around. And there he was, tie now in place, suit jacket dispensed with and shirt sleeves rolled up to the elbow. 

“May I have this dance?” he asked, the earlier slurred speech having dissipated.

“I thought you were too busy mooning over your ex to dance?”

He shrugged, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth as he took a step closer. “A friend suggested I should try something different.”

“Oh,” she grinned, “Sounds like a very wise friend.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, “But let’s not tell her - don’t want her getting big headed.”

And with a chuckle, she pulled him into the little dance circle they had made, letting him twirl her around until the room span and her feet hurt.

Like friends do. Of course.   
  


A/N: I had to make Milah a 'villain' for plot purposes. If you're enjoying this, please let me know - it means a lot!


	5. Episode 5

Not being hungover on a Sunday morning was something Killian could possibly get used to. The past month of Saturdays since the wedding had seen him covering the closing shift to make up for him having that day off. And oddly for him, after work he hadn’t taken himself off to a late bar and drank into the wee hours before bringing a woman back to the loft. Quite the contrary, the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind.

Checking his phone he saw it was only 8am, too early for a weekend. He had no major plans for the day, it was his day off and he wasn’t even planning on leaving the loft if he could manage it. Quietly, he placed the phone back on the bedside table and ran his hand over the wooden cabinet. He found what he was looking for easily. It was a photograph, well a strip of photos really, of him and Emma from the booth at the wedding last month. 

After she’d left him alone in there, brooding into his bottle of rum, he’d began to realize what an idiot he was being with his behavior. Of course, he couldn’t just turn off the hurt that Milah had caused him, or even what sort of man it had turned him into, but drinking himself into oblivion as he watched her every move was only succeeding in making him miserable. She was smart, Emma. But Killian saw the hurt she tried to hide, not from that Walsh guy, no, an older kind of hurt that had scarred her spirit somewhere along the line. He saw it because he had the same damage, though it expressed itself in a different way. The more he got to know her, the more he understood her. And the more he began to care.

Turning the picture over in his hand, he looked at the image of the two sitting side by side. When he’d picked it up that night, he’d planned on giving it to her. Or throwing it away. Or something. But it had found its way into his pocket and then onto his nightstand, where it had stayed for weeks now. It wasn’t a smiling, happy picture; instead both wore expressions that can best be described as pensive. He was disheveled with his hair sticking up and tie askew, but she… she looked beautiful. Her blonde hair curled over her shoulders and the scarlet red of her dress contrasting perfectly with her light summer tan, the tan that had brought with it the sheen of freckles on her cheeks that even make up didn’t hide. They looked good together, he conceded, even with their somber expressions.

Killian let his head sink back into the pillow. He’d been denying it for weeks (actually  _ months _ ) now, but it was getting harder to pretend that he felt nothing for the woman across the hall. Inside, he was fighting a battle of wills. 

He wasn’t a relationship guy and besides, it wasn’t like he could even pursue her like that. They lived together for Christ’s sake. And he could only imagine the reaction of David and Robin should he even try… 

Still, she’d gotten under his skin. First she was just hot, then pretty and beautiful, intelligent, interesting, tough, mesmerizing…

Just thinking about her made his heart race and a stupid grin creep onto his face.

He grabbed a pillow and pressed it over his head, pounding it with his fists as he willed these thoughts to leave him in peace.

***

It was suspiciously quiet across the hall. 

Again.

Her usual weekend trepidation about leaving her room was eased by this knowledge, but also by her desperate need to pee. So, peeling back her comforter, Emma slipped out of bed and pulled on her soft pink robe. The hallway was quiet as she made her way to the bathroom and she said a silent prayer of thanks. 

Returning to her room, she heard the telltale creak of Killian’s door and braced herself for a meeting with anonymous paramour number  _ whatever _ . But, instead of the clack of heels, there was the soft padding of feet down the hallway and as she looked up, she found herself faced with her blue eyed, rumpled-haired roommate.

“Oh, hey,” she smiled, quickly peering behind him to see if anyone was following. “You’re up early.”

He seemed momentarily stuck for words and smiled bashfully (which was weird, but actually somehow suited him).

“Thirsty,” he shrugged, giving her a strange look. 

“Oh, okay,” she frowned. He went to walk past her and she did the same, resulting in them both walking into each other.

“Sorry-”

“Sorry-”

Emma smiled, laughing softly. “You first.”

He nodded and took a step.

And then curiosity got the better of her.

“Hey, you don’t have any company this morning?   
He tilted his head in confusion as she raised her brows and nodded in the direction of his room. 

“Oh, no.”

“Things seem to have been quiet on that front recently,” she replied. “You losing your touch with the ladies?” 

The his expression changed, from one of mild amusement to one of indignation.

“What - is that all you think I am? Some man whore?” He spoke quietly, but there was an icy bite to his words.

Speechless, Emma’s mouth dropped open and she awkwardly folded her arms. His reaction was completely unexpected.

His shoulders sagged a little as a crease appeared between his brows. “Look, sorry, I’m just tired is all. That was… I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she shrugged, still a little stung by his outburst. “I’m always cranky before my morning coffee.”

“Yeah,” he muttered, “It’s caffeine I need.”

And then he walked away, leaving Emma utterly bewildered as she walked into her room.

_ What the hell had gotten into Killian Jones? _

***

Almost a week passed where Killian did his damndest to avoid her. Not that it was that hard, given that they both worked odd hours. The way he had spoken to her in the hallway had him utterly embarrassed and ashamed and just staying away from Emma seemed to be the most logical way of dealing with it. Not that that helped him with the inevitable brooding over the incident. 

Did she really think that’s all he was? Did she really just see him as some womaniser? He had to admit he hadn’t given her much reason to think otherwise since she had moved in. The women had started to become a blur. They meant nothing to him, but he doubted that assurance would improve her opinion of him.

But today it was Friday and not only that, it was his first Friday off work in almost three months. He, Robin and David had planned to spend the night knocking back some beers and watching some Australian test cricket (sometimes Killian did love the time differences). And today he was not going to worry about his traitorous thoughts about the blonde across the hallway, instead he was going to get drunk and bloody well enjoy it.

David was cracking open the case of beers in the kitchen and Robin and Killian had taken their place on the couch when Emma appeared.

“Hey guys,” she smiled, smoothing down the tight, black skirt of her dress.

Robin whistled slowly, “Wow Emma, you’re looking rather fancy.”

She grimaced, “Work,” she sighed, “I hate having to resort to this but sometimes it’s all I can do.”

“Do what?” Killian asked, trying not to look like he was eyeing her up.

“Oh, the fake date thing. I do it for some guys I can’t pin down, track them online, flirt over social media… you know.”

“That sounds dangerous,” Killian growled, feeling suddenly protective.

“Please,” she sighed, “I’ve done it tons of times. It’s a great way to catch them off guard.” She quickly looked at her watch, “And I’m going to be late. Bye!”

And she was gone and his plan of not thinking about her was replaced by visions of that tight black dress and, more prominently, worries about just what she was getting herself into tonight.

***

“Shit,” Emma panted a couple of hours later., pressing her hand against her hip as she caught her breath.

She’d made it through two courses before he started acting weird and left to go to the bathroom. She’d followed him only seconds later, but the asshole had made it out a side exit and disappeared before she’d even had a chance to work out which direction he’d taken. 

Standing in the middle of the street, she cursed her bad luck when her phone started to ring.

“Hey,” she sighed as she answered.

“Emma? Are you home?” It was Ruby and she sounded upset.

“No, but I will be soon - why? Are you okay?”

There was a hiccuped sob at the end of the line. “Victor and I had a fight.”

Emma shook her head. This new guy Ruby was dating seemed like an okay person but they seemed to fight like cats and dogs. But then maybe her friend actually liked that; she  _ was _ into all things dramatic.

“Come by the loft, I’ll be there in 15,” she replied. She knew Ruby and she knew at times like these her best friend needed distraction. And to be honest right then, Emma did too. She hated it when a mark got the best of her.

Tugging off her heels she headed back into the restaurant to settle the bill and get that almost untouched bottle of wine to go.

***

Emma arrived back at the loft to the sound of a high pitched peal of laughter. She ended up having to go into her office before returning home, so now it was almost an hour since she had spoken to her friend. Turning her key in the lock she knew Ruby had already arrived before she even looked in the living room.

“Em!” she cried, crashing into Emma as she closed the door behind her.

“Hey Rubes, you seem perkier.”

“Yeah,” she grinned, “Victor called and apologised.” Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes glassy. She was a little drunk.

“Oh,” Emma sighed, stashing her purse on one of the hooks behind the door, “That was quick.”

“Well, these guys have helped too. You never told be just how funny your roommates are!”

“Hmm,” Emma replied with a raise of her brows. 

She hadn’t had enough to drink yet to deal with tipsy Ruby. Taking the bottle of wine she’d brought home, she went straight to the kitchen to get a glass as her friend trailed behind her, regaling her with tales of just how repentant her doctor boyfriend was.

Emma nodded, her head still dealing with the nights turn of events as they wandered into the living room.

David and Robin were each sat on one of the armchairs that made up the living room suite alongside a long couch  big enough for at least four. As the two women entered the space, the men looked up. Robin and David gave her cheery greetings but Killian wore a sour expression.

“How did it go? Are you okay?” he asked as she took a seat on the couch.    
“Fine,” she replied, tossing back a mouthful of bitter red wine as Ruby sat beside her, pushing her further along the couch and closer to Killian. Killian didn’t say anything further.

“Move along,” Ruby ordered, “I need to put my feet up.”

Emma rolled her eyes. She loved Ruby. Like a sister. But also like a sister she could find her trying at times.

“Shouldn’t you be heading back to your own apartment now. I mean, now that your lovers tiff is over?”

“Nah,” she replied with a shake of her head, “Victor’s on call now till at least 6am. And these guys promised me some fun!”

Emma narrowed her eyes at David. “Fun?”

David shrugged, “She was upset. Robin may have suggested a drinking game.”

“A drinking game? I’m not nineteen Robin,” Emma scoffed.   
“Oh come on!” Ruby pleaded, “It’ll be fun and you look like you need to loosen up anyway.”

With a cluck of her tongue Emma conceded defeat. “Fine, but I need at least another glass of wine before I can even realistically consider this. And I need to change out of this damn dress.”

“Whoop!” Ruby cried, giving a fist pump. “It’s going to be great!”

_ Yeah _ , Emma thought as she trudged back to her room,  _ so great _ .

***

Kilian had thought she looked beautiful in the black dress (well, he _ always _ thought she did but that is a technicality). But then she’d appeared in the living room in a short black skirt and striped t-shirt over leggings and his jaw had dropped. She’d wiped off some of her make up - leaving her lips lightly stained the red of her lipstick, and brushed out her curls into loose waves. Casual, relaxed Emma could possibly be the most stunning sight he had ever seen.

Picking up his jaw, he’d tried to act natural. But that initial idea had turned into squashing himself in the corner of the couch and gluing his eyes to the sport on the tv as Emma recounted the story of her mark’s escape that evening and Ruby kept her wine glass liberally filled with wine. 

He’d never felt this way around a woman… well, never.

***

Killian was acting weird. He was quiet and somber even as the quartet around him joked and laughed. Sitting beside her, his posture was unnaturally stiff as he stared at the TV screen. Emma began to worry that she had done something to upset him, but then her brain kicked in and reminded her that not everything was about her. Maybe something else had happened. Maybe Milah… maybe some other woman-

(She swallowed that thought, surprised how bitter it felt).

By the time it was past midnight, Emma had drank enough wine to dull the annoyance of earlier and to even make her start to laugh a little. Ruby was dancing on the living room table, a bottle of red wine in her hand as Emma sat on the couch and the guys argued over the merits of American football and European football (‘proper football’ Robin had insisted).

Suddenly, Ruby let out a loud whistle and the others all turned her way. “Okay! Time for that game I was promised. Truth or dare!”

“What?” Emma cried, “Seriously?” 

“It’ll be fun!” she promised as she jumped down from the table. “Come on, for me?”

Ruby gave her friend her best puppy dog eyes until she finally sighed and agreed, “Guys?” Ruby asked.

“Sure,” Robin smiled.

“I’m in,” David slurred, whilst Killian merely grunted his approval. 

“Okay, who’s first?” Robin asked as he took a sip of beer.

“I nominate Emma,” Ruby grinned. There was a look in her eye that Emma didn’t like but she was a little too drunk to overthink it.

“Fine,” she shrugged, setting her wine glass down, “Dare.”

“Right in there!” David laughed and Emma flashed him a toothy grin.

“I know Ruby well enough to remember that her dares are usually easier to palate than her truths.”

“Then I dare you…” Ruby began, a devious expression crossing her face, “I dare you to kiss Killian.”   
“What?” Emma spat, her heart instantly starting to pound. Was she serious?

***

The words ‘kiss’ and ‘Killian’ hung in the air.

Killian immediately felt his ears begin to turn red in embarrassment. 

“You heard,” Ruby smiled smugly.

Emma looked his way, an almost panicked expression on her face - her brows scrunched together and her mouth open. “Seriously? Isn’t that like so sixth grade?” Emma added weakly, tossing her friend a pleading glance.

“And that’s what makes it fun!” Ruby crooned.

Killian stayed quiet, thinking that this was either the best or the worst thing that could have possibly happened. He wasn’t sure which.

“What about you Jones, too chicken?” Robin laughed, nudging his leg with his own.

Killian rolled his eyes, “I’m insulted by that comment.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Ruby quipped, eyeing them both.

And that’s how five minutes later they found themselves locked in Emma’s room.

Killian sat on the had as Emma banged on the door. “Come on guys, let us out.”

“Not until you kiss!” replied Robin.

“Yeah!” cheered David.

(He was sure they were drunk now. After all their words about keeping him away from Emma, now they had locked him in a room with her.)

“Urgh, seriously,” she sighed, lying back against the door, “I should have known she would do something like this.”

“Well, I’m sure if we just wait a few minutes they will let us out.”

“You do not know Ruby - she never backs down. Trust me.”

“So what then?” Killian found himself standing and walking over to the window, subconsciously creating as much space between them as possible.

“So just kiss me and then we can get out of here and move on with our lives.”

And that sounded so simple.

But he couldn’t do that, could he? Kiss her and then pretend that he didn’t care? Press his lips against her soft pink mouth and hold her close and drink her in and then… nothing?

“No,” he insisted shaking his head vigorously. 

Emma looked a little taken aback. “No? Is there something unkissable about me?”

Killian stuffed his hands into his pockets, “Um, of course not, that’s not what I meant. I just…”

She stared at him with an impatient expression.

“I’m just trying to be a gentleman here.”

Her eyes widened. “Well the gentlemanly thing to do, right now would be to just kiss me. I’ll take a picture, they’ll let us out.”

“Er…”

“Just one kiss Jones and then you can get back to your beer and weird ass baseball.”

“Cricket,” he corrected.

“Whatever,” she replied, gesturing for him to come closer.

_ Okay Jones, you need to man up here, _ he told himself as he walked to where she stood. He gave Emma a quick smile as he positioned himself in front of her. Swallowing hard, he reached up to cup her face-

“Ready?” he asked.

(He wasn’t.)

“Yeah,” she whispered.

He moved in, his lips becoming closer to hers, his head was spinning, imagining what it would be like and knowning that he would know in less than a second.

And then he paused.

“What’s wrong,” she asked.

“I, er…” he couldn’t think of a reason to give her.

“Damn it Killian, just kiss me already!”

Then he caught her eye and was instantly lost in their stormy green. And he knew - knew - that he was in over his head. That a kiss with her could never just be a kiss. 

“Not like this!” he blurted out before he could stop himself.

She took in a audible deep breath. “Wait, what? What does that mean?”

Silently he let go of her and took a step back.

“N-nothing,” he muttered, scrubbing his hands over his beard as he tried to think.

“That can’t mean nothing Killian-”

“No, really,” he insisted, “I’ve just had too much to drink and-and-”

She was staring at him, a wide eyed expression on her face. Her cheeks were a little flush and honestly, she just got more and more gorgeous. A few seconds passed. They felt like hours.

“Okay, it’s fine,” she nodded, “Time for plan B then,” she sighed, flashing him a little grin.

***

Plan B had involved a bobby pin and Emma’s slightly illegal lock picking skills (her day job did come in useful sometimes). She felt a jolt of relief when the door sprung open and she stumbled out into the hallway. The others had already returned to the living room and it was with only some mild ribbing that the pair returned to the group who’d already moved on to daring Robin to run naked to the lobby. Killian stayed quiet. Emma couldn’t help but rerun the events in her room over and over in her mind.

It was just a kiss - what was the big deal.

_ Not like this. _

What the hell did that mean.

Killian Jones was making her head hurt.

Time moved quickly and soon after Ruby left following a message from Victor telling her he had got off work and then less than an hour later David and Robin slunk off to bed after leaving Emma and Killian to pick up the empty bottles and glasses and take them into the kitchen.

“Sorry about earlier,” he said as she began rinsing out the glasses whilst he put the bottles in the recycling box.

“It’s fine,” she insisted.

“I meant about this morning really, I was a bit of a dick.”

Emma glanced sideways at him. 

“Just a little,” she quipped. She placed the clean glasses beside the sink and then grabbed a towel to dry her hands. “Can I say something?”

“What?” he asked.

“You’re not quite yourself at the minute. Is there something wrong?”

He shrugged, “No.”

“You sure?” she continued, still feeling something was off, “I just get the feeling something has changed with you.”

“Maybe it has,” he replied, enigmatically.

“What does that mean?”

Killian pressed his teeth on his bottom lip as Emma waited. There was something he wasn’t telling her. Maybe it was Milah-

(And why did that bother her so much?)

“Nothing, I’m just messing with you. Really, I’m fine. Just tired.”

“Okay,” she nodded, not quite believing him.

The two walked quietly to the hallway that separated their rooms. The rest of the loft was silent. Emma stifled a yawn as she said goodnight and turned to her door.

But then his hand was on her arm, spinning her back to face him. And a second later, his mouth was on hers, his hand bunched in her hair, tilting her head to slant his lips over her own-

Her heart skipped a beat. Shocked, it took a moment to realise what was happening-

Then her hands sprang up and wrapped around his neck, she pushed her body against his, deepening the kiss as she reached up on her tiptoes to chase his lips.

His soft, demanding, patient, amazing lips-

The hallway was spinning and she could feel the kiss buzzing right down into the goddamn heels of her feet.

His arms wrapped tighter against her.

Each second felt like an hour. Each brush of his lips, taking more of her breath away-

It was hands down the best first kiss she had had. Make that best kiss she had ever had period. Damn the man knew what to do with those lips. And with his warm, strong hands holding her tightly and the press of the hard planes of his chest against her own she almost felt like she was drowning in sensation-

And then he stopped, pulling himself away seemingly reluctantly.

Pressing his forehead against hers, he panted softly. Emma was silent, too stunned for words.

“I meant something like that,” he whispered, before softly kissing her cheek, loosening his grip on her body and slipping into his bedroom before closing the door and leaving Emma alone in the hallway.

The clunk of his door shutting echoed in her ear as she pressed her hand to her mouth.

_ What the hell had just happened? _

**_A/N: Thanks for reading!_ **


	6. Episode 6

Killian woke up with a start when it was still dark outside. The beer had given him a slight headache and his mouth felt dry and-

_ SHIT!!! _

He grabbed the pillow beside him and pressed it over his face, groaning into it as he berated himself.

He kissed her. He’d gone and bloody well kissed her.

And then he’d gone and pissed off into his room like some arrogant wanker. God, she probably hated him now - probably thought he was some kind of sleazeball; that he lived up to his first impression.

_ Shit, shit, shit! _

***

Her lips still stung. Wait - that was impossible.

Had she slept? She wasn’t sure. Damn, she needed a glass of water. She’d drank too much-

But he’d kissed her.  _ He’d gone and kissed her… _

Just like that? And then left her in the hallway feeling like it was some kind of crazy dream?

(And she’d liked it - really, really liked it-)

Throwing back the covers, she took a deep breath. 

She needed to clear her head and lying in a bed across the hallway from him was not going to do that. Right now she needed to talk to the one person in her life who was straight talking when it came to men: Ruby.

***

He needed to be somewhere else - anywhere else. Pulling on some jeans and a shirt, he grabbed his keys, wallet and phone and quickly exited his room-

Where he walked straight into Emma.

“Killian!” she exclaimed as she closed her bedroom door. Wrapped in a soft blue towel she was clearly headed for the shower, but all he could concentrate on was the dual feelings of how pretty she looked with her bare shoulders and just how awkward he felt after the night before.

“Uh,” he mumbled, darting his eyes to the floor. He was so goddamn tongue-tied he couldn’t manage even one more word. So like a coward, he quickly turned and bolted towards the loft door.

“Killian?” he heard her cry behind him before he shut the door.

God he was a coward.

***

“What the hell-”

The door flung open and Emma marched in as her friend clutched her red silk robe around her curvy frame.

“Good morning,” she chirped sarcastically as Emma slammed the door. “Now you know I love you Swan, but is there any reason why you are waking me up at-” looks at the clock - “Ten am, when I have a hot guy in my bed?”

Pausing in the middle of the living room Emma turned around and took a deep breath - 

“I kissed Killian.”

“WHAAAAAAAT?” Ruby screeched, her jaw dropping comically open as Emma flung herself onto the couch.

“Well, maybe he kissed me? Oh crap-” she continued, pressing her face into her palms.

“Wait, rewind a little,” Ruby replied gesturing wildly with her hands, “When I left I thought that stupid game was all done.”

“It was,” Emma insisted, raising her brows, “This was nothing to do with that.” She shook her head. “It was later, the other guys had gone and we were clearing up and … it just happened.”

“What do you mean? I need details to visualize this!”

Emma glanced upwards and let the memory of their brief kiss return. “We’d said good night and then, well, he just grabbed me and kissed me - it was just so… masculine,” she explained, her voice turning to a whisper.

“And?” Ruby asked, arching her brow.

“It was just about the best goddamn kiss I’ve ever had. I thought my knees were going to give out.”

“So why are you here talking about this rather than back at your place jumping his bones?” 

Emma bit her lip. “Ruby, he just kissed me and then left me standing there. Before I even knew what was happening he was gone. And when I saw him this morning he couldn’t even say one word to me before he scurried away.”

“He’s a man,” Ruby shrugged, “I’ll admit that’s a little weird but still doesn’t answer my question.”

Rolling her eyes, Emma planted her elbow on her knee and sunk her chin onto her palm. “Clearly he changed his mind.  _ Men  _ do that.”

“Not all men are Walsh,” Ruby promised, “I fail to see the problem here.”

“He’s my roommate! Now things are going to be weird and I really, really don’t want to have to move again.”

“I think you need to talk to him.”

Emma grimaced. “That’s the last thing I need to do right now.”

_ *** _

Clean clothes, calm mind, right? Well, at least that’s what Emma was hoping when she had left Ruby’s apartment. Her initial idea to hang out there for most of the day had been foiled by the emergence from the bedroom of a mostly naked (save the sheet wrapped around his waist - ew!) Dr. Whale and his vigorous insinuation that more sex-having was going to take place between the doctor and her friend, whether she remained there or not.

She may have had to return home but she didn’t want to face that awkward first encounter with Killian. So before she entered the apartment she called David and made some lame excuse about losing Killian’s number and asking if he was about. Pathetic, yes, but effective all the same. Turns out he hadn’t returned from whatever had made him leave the loft in a hurry that morning.

( _ Her _ , she told herself,  _ he’d ran away because of her. Argh. _ )

Focused, she went straight to her room and gathered enough laundry to keep her busy all afternoon, a bag of quarters, her Kindle and then snuck a bottle of water from the fridge before she headed down into the basement laundry room. Ordinarily, she would leave her things to soak while she got on with other small tasks in the loft, but today she planned on camping out in one of the deck chairs that someone had left down in the small room. After pushing open the heavy iron door, she made sure it was wedged it open with the large box of junk which had also been helpfully left by another tenant. Robin had given her a lecture in her first week about making sure the door stayed open because the lock was broken. She sorted her things, added detergent, and popped in a few coins and then tried to lose herself in some trashy chic lit. 

***

A walk was supposed to clear his head. Instead, Killian found himself even more confused, sitting in the park going over and over the last 12 hours events.

He’d really wanted to kiss Emma. He’d really enjoyed kissing her. But really it was all fucked up because what kind of first kiss was that? How the hell was he supposed make that right?

Well, not by ignoring her and running away the next time you saw her.

He was a fucking idiot.

And that’s when he decided that hiding away from her was exactly the opposite of what he needed to do right now. What needed to happen was him apologizing to her before the atmosphere in the loft got weird and she moved out and Dave and Robin made his life a misery over the whole thing.

He needed to man up.

Back at the loft, Emma’s room was empty.

“You seen Swan, mate?” he asked Dave who was watching tv in the living room (and trying to sound as casual as possible, hoping his friend didn’t catch the high pitched squeak in his voice).

“Doing laundry - hey, she was looking for you earlier. Something up?”

“Nah,” Killian shook his head, “She just said I could…” ( _ think think think! _ ) “Borrow a book from her. I’ll go ask her where it is then.”

David narrowed his eyes, “I’ve never seen you read for pleasure.”

“First time for everything, right?” Killian quipped.

Still staring at him, David slowly stood. “What did you do?”

Open mouthed, Killian groaned inwardly. 

“ _ Killian, _ ” David warned.

“I kissed her,” he admitted, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“You idiot. I knew something was up,” the blond sighed, shaking his head. “You need to fix this.”

“And I plan to-” Killian began.

“You need to go and apologise now - I’m not losing a good roommate because-”

“I’m a fuck up, I know mate. I’ll fix it. I promise.”

***

Slamming the dryer door, Emma cranked the dial up to permanent press. Then she refilled the washing machine and began to process anew.

It was perfect. Lost in the trashy lines of a romance novel, she had not thought even about him once. ( _ Lie. She had a couple of times. But only briefly. _ ) Instead she was wrapped up in the story of a headstrong young woman who was battling not to fall in love with her best friend’s brother. 

“Emma?”

She jumped, her Kindle clattering to the floor. It was him.

“You,” she cried, her heart pounding madly when she saw him striding towards her with purpose.   
“Me,” he nodded, smiling thinly. “I came to talk.”

Well, this was unexpected. Emma stared at him, jaw loose.

“Oh, you can actually talk now?”

He shuffled a few steps further into the room, a contrite expression on his dark features. “Look, I’m sorry I kissed you.”

So it was a mistake. He did regret it.  _ She knew it _ . (And maybe her heart sank a little.)

“Oh wow that was unexpected, thank you Killian,”

She stood and pretended to sort through her laundry again, hoping he would take the hint and leave.

“It was a mistake,” he continued and she clenched her mouth.

“Glad we’re on the same page,” she chirped, keeping her back to him, frustration rising and making her cheeks hot.

“Me too, I was feeling a little bit awkward.”

“Yeah you were acting a little weird,” she replied, throwing back a glance at him, watching as he rocked back and forth slowly on his heels.

“I know, which is stupid since that was a kiss that meant nothing. Nothing at all.”

Emma stopped and turned back to face him. “Well it must have meant a little something - since you kissed me.”

He pulled a face a shook his head. Emma sighed in frustration.

“I think you can admit it meant something, Killian, people just don’t go around kissing their roommates for no reason.” She folded her arms and stared him down.

“Emma, it was a drinking game and I was just finishing it,” he insisted.

“But the game was finished, so it meant something.”

“Are you saying it meant something to you?”

“You think some awful kiss that I didn’t even want meant something to me? Please,” she rolled her eyes.

“I think you’re thinking about it now.”

“And I think you should leave and let me do laundry in peace.”

Killian shook his head, “No I think I need to stay until we sort this out.” He looked around the laundry room and before she could stop him he had pulled the box away from where it held the door in place and pushed it against the wall.

“Killian!!”

“What?” he asked, sitting on the box.

“The door is broken, you ass, that’s why the box was there.”

The color drained from his face and he went to check the door handle.

“Shit,” he whispered.

“Yeah,” she spat, “Shit.”

She checked her phone and he did the same. No signal in the basement.

“Well Dave knows we are here…”

Emma sighed heavily and turned her chair away from him. This was going to be a long afternoon.

***

He hadn’t quite meant the conversation to go the way it had. He really had intended on saying sorry and leaving it at that. But then he’d kept talking and-

_ He didn’t regret it.  _ Not one little bit. Maybe he shouldn’t have kissed her. But he couldn’t just pretend that it was some huge mistake when it wasn’t.

And now he kinda wanted her to do the same.

“You can admit you enjoyed it, if you want,” he said as she pulled a load from the machine straight into the dryer.

“And why would I do that?” she balked.

“I’ve been told I’m quite skilled in that department. Look, I’m not proposing or anything, but it was a nice kiss.”  _ Better than nice. It was amazing, wonderful, perfect- _

“Nice?” she screeched, finally looking his way. “Look buddy, I’ve had a more than a few compliments myself on my kissing skills. Nice my ass.”

She began to shove more items into the washer as he watched, loading it up with detergent before she slammed the lid closed and jumped up to sit on the machine.

“So you did enjoy it?” he teased. And he knew it was wrong, but he had to admit he liked the way that her eyes widened in annoyance and the little huff of frustration that lifted her shoulders.

Kicking her legs forward, she shook her head, “Dream on, Jones.”

Killian stood, walking the few paces to the washer. “Look I’ll admit it was a good kiss. I’ve no shame in that. Maybe ill advised, but good.”

“Well we’ve moved from ‘nice’ to ‘good’ what progress.”

And here, here was the moment where he knew he should have stopped and just sat back down and been quiet-

“Perhaps another one would raise the perception some more. It’s hard to give a good review based on one experience.”

He took a few more steps until he was standing almost between her legs.

“What do you mean?” she asked, tilting her head and narrowing her eyes.

God she looked so pretty, barely a scrap of make-up, gold hair fanned over her shoulders.

So he kissed her. Again.

Hands on her waist, he pressed his lips gently to hers, almost expecting her to kick him in the balls. But she didn’t, instead she responded by reaching up, slipping her hands around his neck.

***

Crap, what was she doing?  _ What were they doing? _

But, hell, his lips felt good - even better completely sober. He pulled her closer, pressing his fingertips into her hips, groaning a little (in a way that went straight to a place between her legs-) when she tightened her thighs around him.

It was that perfect combination of tender and soft with a hot, dangerous edge that led her mind down a dangerous path that had her imagining what else he could do with that mouth-

And of course that was the moment someone chose to bang on the door. They sprang apart, a guilty expression on Killian’s face which she was sure matched her own.

“Emma? Killian? ”

It was David.

“Yeah mate, we’re stuck in here. Can you get the super?” Killian replied, giving Emma a chance to take a few breaths to compose herself.

“Hold tight.”

And there was the sound of footsteps walking away.

“So…” Emma began.

“Yeah…” he sighed, pushing back his hair with his hands. “Sorry, that was really stupid of me. Here I come trying to make amends and then I go and do that.”

“Oh,” she nodded, “Yeah, I guess we’re just two very competitive people.”   
“Yeah, that’s it,” he smiled. “I’m sorry for being an asshole. Can we start again?”

“Sure,” she shrugged, somewhere halfway between disappointed and confused over what the hell had just transpired. “Friends?” she suggested, holding out her hand.

“Friends,” he repeated, taking her hand and shaking it lightly.

Friends, she repeated in her mind.  _ Just friends _ . That made sense.

“I mean, can you imagine something happening between you and me?” Killian went on, ending with a little laugh that sounded a lot hollow.

“Yeah, crazy idea,” she added.

(Or not.)

“Crazy,” he repeated, and maybe she was imagining it but he seemed to be staring at her lips. 

A/N: Thanks for reading!


	7. Episode 7

“Are you sure that’s enough time to get the decorations up? Remember the invitation said arrive by seven sharp. I’m bringing Robin at 7:30 and I want everyone there before.”

Killian sighed and rubbed a hand against his stubble as Regina stared at him across the kitchen.

“Relax, Regina. Two hours is more than sufficient, I’ll be here and I’m sure Dave will help. Everything will be ready for the party. Besides Robin knows about it; it’s not like it’s a surprise.”

“That is not the point,” she quipped shrilly.

“Everything will be great, love,” her boyfriend chipped in, pulling her to his side, “Honestly, I told you just something quiet with you would have been fine.”

Regina flashed Robin a sharp look, “After you whisked me away to that bed and breakfast in wine country for my birthday, you know I have to do more than that to celebrate yours.”

“It’s not a competition, darling,” Robin drawled, pulling her into a soft kiss.

Killian smiled wryly and rolled his eyes. He often wondered what had made Robin fall for the evil queen in the first place, but he couldn’t deny that somehow it worked. And watching the two be sickeningly cute together, he couldn’t help feel a prickle of jealousy.

“Okay guys, I’m gonna-”

He pointed in the direction of the living room, taking his beer with him as he left the two getting friendly. Suddenly and very unusually for him, he felt very single.

Three weeks had passed since the incident in the laundry room and for all intents and purposes, Emma seemed to have found moving on from their kisses quite easy. In fact, she barely seemed to be in the loft any more, instead seemingly taking every extra job she could. They’d been like two ships passing in the night, the occasional hello as one arrived home and the other left. For her part, Emma appeared completely unaffected now - her demeanor towards him being pretty much identical to their relationship pre kiss number one.

The bartender, however, had not recovered quite so easily.

They’d decided to be friends.

Well, kinda. It was her suggestion after all, and being a gent he was only happy to follow her wishes.

Well, not exactly happy. He was many things, but not the kind of man to pursue a woman who had shown she was not interested. But that didn’t mean he could just magic her from his head like that. In fact, it seemed that the more he tried to distance himself the more he thought about her. And dreamed about her. And kicked himself every time he remembered the way things had gone.

Damn, he wished he’d just manned up and told her he had feelings for her after the first kiss. Just said he actually liked her, not been a creep and ran away. (Twice.)

Ah well, he sighed as he sat on the couch and turned on the tv. Some mindless entertainment was all he needed to take his mind of the subject.

***

(It didn’t work.)

***

“I can’t believe I’ve actually managed to nail you down,” Ruby quipped as she sipped her margarita. Emma shrugged her shoulders in reply. “Seriously,” the brunette continued, “You’ve been like little miss busy-bee for like, the past month. I was beginning to feel neglected.”

“Work has been crazy,” she explained, taking a handful of bar mix from the small bowl in front of them. “You know how it is.”

“If you say so,” Ruby smirked. “So, how are things with you and lover boy?”

With a sigh, Emma tossed the snacks in her mouth and crunched them loudly. “I’ve told you,” she said swallowing hard, “We’ve moved past that. It was a mistake.”

“Didn’t seem like a mistake when you burst into my apartment all wide eyed and panting.”

“Panting? Hardly!” Emma gave her a pointed look, “Anyway, like I already said we talked it out. It was just… a thing. Everything is back to normal now.”

“Uh huh,” Ruby nodded raising her brows.

“Do you have nothing better to do than question me about my love life?”

“I just want you to be happy, babe. Things with Victor are just great now and I want the same for you.”

“I don’t need a man to be happy, Ruby,” Emma insisted.

“But it doesn’t hurt, right?”

Emma would never let her doubt her friend’s tenacity again. But Ruby needed to understand that nothing was happening with Killian. It had been a fluke, something crazy and weird and something they had both agreed wouldn’t happen again. Because they were roommates. And friends. That door was firmly closed.  
“Maybe… but you’re barking up the wrong tree with Killian.”

“Then someone else. At least you could go on a few dates. Isn’t your roommate’s party coming up? You don’t want to fly solo to that do you?”

In fact, Emma hadn’t really thought about it. She’d spent the last few weeks trying to think about nothing other than work. Pulling double shifts, volunteering for all the tough jobs that meant long hours trailing perps. Anything she could do in fact to not think at all. Because if she let her mind wander, more often than not, visions of her dark haired roommate appeared. Visions in which he was sometimes giving her another of his amazing kisses-

“I don’t really care,” she replied with a shrug.

“Well _I_ do. Look, I’ll make you a deal. You agree to find a date for the party and I’ll agree to stop mentioning your hot roommate.”

Emma looked at Ruby doubtfully, “Really?”

“Really,” she nodded in reply. “And there just happens to be a guy checking you out right now. Three o'clock.”

Picking up her drink, Emma slid slowly around in her stool. Just where Ruby indicated stood a tall, fair haired guy with a nice smile and an expensive looking suit.

“Hmph,” Emma sighed as she turned back to face her friend, “He looks pretty…”

“Attractive? Interested? Unmarried?” Ruby suggested.

“I guess he’s okay,” Emma conceded, already knowing she was not going to win this one. “I guess it couldn’t hurt to-”

But she didn’t get a chance to finish her sentence because her friend was already waving the guy over.

***

Killian wiped the bar down for about the tenth time, making sure it shone. The last thing he needed tonight was Regina on his case. It was bad enough that he had to supervise the bar on a night when he’d rather get rolling drunk, but being the subject of her wrath would just be the icing on the cake.

The DJ was doing his soundcheck as David and his girlfriend Mary Margaret arranged plates of food on some folding tables Killian had taken from out back. There were a bunch of ‘happy birthday’ signs tacked artfully to the walls along with a tasteful selection of helium balloons. Regina had even gone to the trouble of getting in touch with Robin’s parents in England to send her some pictures of Robin as a kid. She’d placed them into little glass frames and dotted them about the place. The overall effect was measured but cozy; informal but classy.

He kept looking at the door as the room began to fill. Most of Robin’s friends were also his too - having known each other so long it was inevitable. So Killian was occupied in greeting people and uncapping beers as it got nearer to the expected arrival of the birthday boy at 7:30pm. In fact, the only noticeable absence was-

_Emma._

Just as the thought entered his mind, she appeared as if by magic, twirling into the room as a gust of air from outside sent the skirt of her flared dress billowing around her legs. She had a gorgeous full smile on her face. His heart did a little leap they way it always seemed to do when she was near. He was almost about to call out - raise a hand and say hi- when he realized with a dull sensation in his gut that she wasn't alone.

 _She’d brought a date._ A very good looking date, who currently had his hand on her waist as they walked to the bar. Killian crumpled the dishcloth in his hand, squeezing it tight until his knuckles turned white. Her eyes met his when they were a few feet away and he could have sworn her expression faltered for a moment. But the smile was back before he could think further on that (and surely he was imagining it in the dark atmosphere of the bar anyway…).

“Good evening,” he nodded, placing down two napkins and trying to ignore the cold sensation running in his veins as her date gave him a once over, “What can I get you?”

“I’ll-” Emma began before she was interrupted.

“She’ll have a martini - dry - and I’ll take a Peroni. You _do_ have imported beers?”

“Sure…” Killian replied, giving Emma a questioning glance as he reached for the cooler.

“Um Killian this is Kirk, Kirk this is Killian my roommate.”

Killian paused opening the beer bottle to shake the man’s hand. “Good to meet you,” he said.

“Likewise,” Kirk replied with a none-too-sincere smile.

They turned away as he prepared the martini and a minute later Kirk handed over a crisp twenty and added condescendingly, “Keep the change,” before the pair walked away. Normally Killian would have been pretty happy with a $8 tip but that guy just rubbed him the wrong way.

Ringing up the bill, he watched them fall into conversation with Mary Margaret and David at the other end of the room and he decided he would keep a watch out for her and make sure this guy wasn’t trouble. That’s what friends did, right?

***

Emma clenched her glass as she listened to Kirk drone on about his caseload and how busy he was. She was beginning to remember why she was never a fan of lawyers - overconfident and arrogant. Well, maybe that was generalizing but this guy certainly fit that stereotype.

She sighed as Mary Margaret tossed her a sympathetic glance over the rim of her wine glass. David’s girlfriend would be far too polite to say anything but Emma could tell she had already picked up on Emma’s aversion to her date. Thankfully he seemed blissfully unaware and so Emma decided the best way to deal with the situation was to bite her tongue, ride the night out. And then never call him again.

“How about a game of darts?” David asked at a break in the conversation.

“I…” Emma faltered.

“I think us girls need some time alone, why don’t you two go? Robin should be here soon so there isn’t really time for four to play,” Mary Margaret suggested.

“If you don’t mind-” Kirk began.

“Oh, no, of course not. You go. We have some… girl talk to catch up on,” she nodded and smiled until he took the hint and walked away towards the back of the bar with David.

“Oh thank God,” Emma sighed, shaking her head. “I’ve only been on this date for half an hour and I’m already dreaming about escaping.”

“Well you know Regina will kill you if you leave before they arrive and before the speeches and the cake-”

“Yeah, I know her well enough to know that much is true,” she snorted, downing the rest of the martini (she hated martinis). “Another drink?”

“Can you get me a rose wine? I just need to powder my nose.”

Emma smiled at the other woman’s old fashioned terms. “Sure, see you at the bar?”

Mary Margaret smiled and headed towards the bathroom as Emma made for the bar. She couldn’t see Killian and to be frank she was a little relieved. He had given her the strangest look when she had walked in with Kirk. Part of her recognized it as something like jealousy, but really even she knew that was ridiculous. He was hardly the type to behave like that, and over her? _Please._

He was on her mind as she placed her purse on the bar and drummed her fingers as she waited for service.

“Emma.”

His blue eyes were the last thing she expected to see when she looked up.  
“Jones,” she smiled softly, feeling her cheeks pink a little in surprise.

“Same again?” he asked, cocking his brow.

“Urgh,” she pulled a face, “God no. Can I get a rose wine and a whiskey on the rocks.”

“Let me guess which one is for you,” he teased, pressing his tongue between his teeth.

“Pink wine makes me slutty-” she quipped before realizing what she was saying and clapping her hand to her mouth. “Shit, sorry that’s something Ruby used to say, I mean, the wine’s for Mary Margaret.”

He didn’t reply, instead he prepared the drinks carefully but quickly with the practiced ease of a man who had mastered the art of his career many years before and now it was second nature.

“So no drink for loverboy?”

“He’s playing darts with David,” she explained as he placed the drinks in front of her, ignoring the jibe.

“Oh,” he nodded. There was a pause. “Do you like him?” he asked unexpectedly.

Taken off guard by the question, Emma fumbled for a reply, “Um… He’s... “

She was spared having to give a reply by the reappearance of Mary Margaret, who eagerly took her wine and said a quick hello to Killian before gesturing to a table where the two could talk.

“Can you set up a tab?” she asked.

“Sure,” he nodded, just as Mary Margaret tugged on her arm and pulled her away.

***

Despite his earlier reservations, it turned out being behind the bar for most of the night had turned out to be a blessing. Serving drinks left him little time to dwell on Emma bringing a date or to seek out the pair in the crowd.

Regina and Robin had arrived a fashionable 10 minutes late and from then on the DJ had cranked up the music and everyone was either drinking, dancing or talking.

It was after ten when Killian decided to take a break and join the party, but first he needed some air. It always got a pretty hot behind the bar, the a/c not quite strong enough to penetrate the center of the room.  He pulled a water bottle from the under bar cooler and headed to the side exit that the employees used.

As the door closed behind him, he heard voices around the corner.

“Come on, babe, I know a great place we can go to.”

“I can’t leave, it’s my friend’s birthday.”

Emma. It was Emma’s voice.

Killian froze, feeling bad for listening but also curious.

“Your friends are… cute. But this place I have in mind is very elegant. Perfect for a girl like you.”

Killian rolled his eyes.

“I already said I can’t, Kirk. You can go if you want but I’m staying.”

“I should have known I was wasting my time.”

“What?”

Killian froze.

“You’re a tease, Emma. I thought it the first minute I saw you, but I was gonna give you a chance. Do you know how many women would kill for a date with a guy like me?”

Killian heard her chuckle, “A guy like you? Hey, what the fuck, get your hands off me-”

Killian didn’t wait for her to finish, rounding the corner just in time to see Emma give her date a swift and hard kick to the balls. Immediately Kirk keeled over, landing hard on his knees on the sidewalk, groaning softly.

“Jones?” Emma panted. He looked up at Emma, she had a grimace on her face but looked otherwise unscathed.

“You okay? I overheard…”

She smiled. “You were trying to come to my rescue?”

He shrugged. “Yeah, I guess I wasn’t exactly needed.”

“Unfortunately I deal with sleazebags like this on a regular basis,” she snipped, tossing her date a glance as he rolled around clutching his privates.

“You’re one tough lass, that’s for sure,” he replied with genuine admiration. He knew she could take care of herself quite well (but that didn’t mean he couldn’t worry about her).

“Thanks,” she laughed, but then a dark look crossed her face.

Killian lowered his voice, “Are you sure you’re okay? I mean he sounded like he was getting pretty… handsy.”

She shrugged, “I’ll be fine. Luckily I have quick reflexes. I guess I need to pick my dates more carefully though. But thanks for, you know, trying to help.”

“ _Tried_ being the word.”

“It was very sweet of you,” she insisted as Kirk whined in pain behind her. “Hopefully this jackass will keep his hands to himself in the future.”

“Aye, I’d say he will be feeling that in the morning.”

Emma smiled and took a few steps away from where Kirk lay. He could see her shaking just a little. Even if she insisted she was okay, he had a feeling she was more shaken up that she was able to admit.

“How about a hot drink to settle you? Granny’s Diner is only a couple of blocks away. How about we nip there and get you a caffeine fix and give this loser a chance to leave before I call the cops and report him for harassment?”

“Aren’t you needed at the bar?” she asked.

“My shift is over now, I’m free to do as I please.”

Seemingly thinking it over for a second, she finally nodded quickly.

“Okay, Then let’s go get some coffee.”

***

The cocoa was a delicious mix of sweet and spicy. Exactly the comfort she needed.

“So, cocoa?” he asked as they left the diner, taking a slow walk back to the bar.

“Yeah, with cinnamon. One of my foster moms used to make it when I was in elementary school and I’ve always found it calming.”

“I guess I could say the same for my relationship with hot tea,” he replied, gesturing to his own drink.

“Whatever floats your boat,” she laughed, hugging the paper cup tightly in her hands, enjoying the warmth that soaked through. It wasn’t that she was cold - the night was still quite balmy thanks to the southern California climate. Yet for some reason her fingers felt icy and stiff and a ball of tension sat in her gut.

“Emma, are you sure you are okay? You don’t have to go back to the party if you don’t want to. I could take you home…”

She stopped outside of the library, taking a sip and enjoying the quiet night, in such contrast to the busy bar. He looked so concerned. She sighed softly. She was, if she admitted, still bothered by what had happened - how vulnerable she had been.

“I just wish…” she began, “I just wish people came with warning labels. You know like ‘jerk’ or ‘liar’.”

“Or ‘charming gent worth a chance’?”

She laughed again. But this time full body and real and she was glad the cup had one of those plastic lids or there would have been cocoa all down her dress.

“You’re really sweet, you know that?”

“Me?”

“I know you try and hide it behind,” she waved her hand in front of him, “All this. But sometimes you let it through and it’s… nice.”

“Sweet and nice. Wow, two words I have never been called before.”

“Maybe you’ve been keeping the wrong kind of company,” she replied, raising her brows, enjoying the way he seemed to squirm from the compliment.

“Perhaps I have,” he nodded.

Then a soft wind picked up, swirling her skirt around her legs and her hair around her shoulders. He was giving her this intense look, one she couldn’t really work out.

And she wanted him to kiss her again.

It was probably a stupid idea. It would probably need nowhere but awkwardness. But she’d seen another side to Killian in the past hour or so. And she liked it. A lot.

She could have sworn he was rocking forward on his toes.

She took in a deep breath-

But then his expression changed and he smiled awkwardly.

“We should get back… the others will be wondering where we are.”

“Yeah… sure,” she whispered, falling back in step beside him as they walked silently back to the bar.

They finally reached the entrance and she was relieved to see no sign of Kirk.

“Thank you again, for trying to help before. It’s good to know someone is looking out for you, you know?” Emma confessed, still cradling her now empty cup.

“That’s what friends are for, right?”

“I guess,” she agreed.

And then before she could think it further, she reached up her arms and pulled him into a warm hug, wrapping her arms around his shoulder and pressing her face into his neck as his hands went automatically to her waist. “Thank you, Killian,” she whispered. His reply was to hold her a little more tightly. Slowly, she released her hold and after giving him one more quick look, she headed straight into the bar.

***

He remained where he was for a moment, hard pounding, taking deep breaths, the scent of her perfume still lingering.

God he was a damn fool.

***

A/N: Three more chapters left... so much still to happen!


	8. Episode 8

It was getting ridiculous. Just as the dust had settled, just as Emma had thought her and Killian were firmly back in the friend zone, that was when the dreams had started.

Well at first they were just dreams. And then they were daydreams. And then, well, you could call them fantasies. Pretty goddamn dirty fantasies.

His dark mop of hair between her legs. His lithe body pressing her into the mattress. Him fucking her over the dining room table.

She pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes as she lay in bed, having awoken from a particularly steamy dream where Killian had followed her into the shower and pressed her up against the tile wall, driving into her from behind, dual sensations of the hot water and cold ceramic mixing with the feeling of him pistoning his hips ever faster…

She needed a cold shower.

_ Shit. _

A cold bath. She needed a cold bath.

* * *

Ruby Lucas has never been known as the punctual type, so it was up to Emma to haul her ass to her friends apartment by 10am to make sure they could go on their scheduled shopping trip before midday. She was beyond relieved to note the absence of Dr.Whale (‘he was on the night shift,’ her friend had pouted). Still, Ruby was barely awake, dressed in a silky nighty, her hair askew and yesterday's eyeliner streaked across her cheeks.

“You get in the shower, I’ll do coffee,” Emma instructed, guiding her friend to the bathroom before she turned on the coffee machine and waited for it to heat up.

She was on her second cup when the brunette emerged from the bathroom. “I won’t be long,” she promised as she poured her own drink and disappeared into her room. It was already almost eleven. Emma sighed and sat on the couch, stretching out and preparing herself for a long wait as Ruby chose what to wear and applied her signature make up.

Lying there with nothing else to think about, her thoughts immediately went to Killian and his damn hot body and sexy accent...and the memory of him standing between her legs as she sat perched on the washing machine, and what might have happened-

She took a deep breath, grabbing the nearest cushion. It was impossible to stop thinking about her roommate. No matter how hard she tried, he was always there, lingering in the back of her mind.

“Damn, I want him bad,” she sighed, clutching the throw pillow to her chest.

“What was that?” Came Ruby’s suddenly wide-awake voice.

Emma sat up quickly, registering her friend’s presence a second later whilst simultaneously berating herself. “Um, nothing…” she lied.

“Uh uh,” Ruby replied, shaking her head, “I heard you. Who is it that you want so bad?”

Emma looked at the floor.

“Shit, it’s him isn’t it? Mr. Tall, dark and British?”

Emma shrugged weakly.

“It’s _ Killian _ . I goddamn  _ knew  _ you still had a thing for him!” She did a little fist pump.

There was nothing Emma could say as she watched her friend’s perfectly arched eyebrows shoot up.

“I may have a tiny crush on him-”

“I believe your words were, ‘I want him bad’?”

“You know eavesdropping is rude?” Emma spat back.

Ruby grabbed the throw-pillow from her friend and pushed her feet away so she could sit next to Emma.

Sitting up, Emma glanced at her friend, who was grinning. 

“You really do like him?”

“He’s a good kisser,” Emma shrugged weakly.

“And?” Ruby prodded.

Emma huffed and flopped back against the couch.

“And I can’t stop thinking about him. Naked.”

“Woo-hoo,” Ruby cried, “So where is the problem? You seduce Mr. Tight Pants, scratch that itch… and you never know, maybe more?”

“Nah-ah,” Emma clucked, shaking her head. “If I slept with him, there is like a 98% chance it would screw up the tentative friendship we have and  _ then _ I’d have to move out. I like the loft. And I like living there.”

“Or, you could score yourself a very hot boyfriend…” Ruby offered with a one shouldered shrug.

“Me date Killian?” She scoffed, “That’s so not going to happen.”

* * *

Despite her conversation with Ruby - and insistence that nothing was ever going to happen with Jones - the dreams didn’t stop. They got more frequent. And more… graphic.

She was spending far too much time thinking about him. Once, when driving to the office, she was so distracted after seeing him leaving the bathroom that morning wrapped only in a too-small towel, hair dripping wet and gorgeous looking, that she almost sideswiped a cop car. Only a large smile and lenient officer had prevented her getting a ticket (and maybe her low-cut shirt might have helped…).

Then a week after her conversation with Ruby, she was getting ready to head out on a date - but not a ‘date’ date, instead a honeytrap. The guy she was chasing was a slippery one, she she’d gone back to the old faithful technique of flirting her way into him asking her out. She’d pulled on what Ruby called her ‘wiggle’ dress, applied lashings of mascara and packed her small handgun in her purse.

Of course Killian was in the living room. Alone. Eating a bowl of popcorn and watching some British sport (rugby? Cricket? She had no clue). “Hey Em-” he began as he clocked her coming into the room. Then his jaw dropped a bit and his eyes widened. “Wow, you look stunning…”

(And thank god she was wearing foundation, because she was sure she turned the color of a beetroot beneath it.)

“Um…” she fumbled, taking in the way Killian sat with his legs splayed and the little bit of his t-shirt that had risen above the waistband of his jeans and that little trail of hair that was just peeking out before it disappeared beneath the denim.

“That’s a great dress,” he added and Emma stood agog, shrugging one shoulder as she tried to remind herself that this was her roommate and she was behaving like a horny teenager around him-

“You have a date?” He asked, cocking his head to the side.

Emma shook her head, “Work,” she managed to squeak.

“Ah,” he nodded, a strange look on his face as he picked up another handful of popcorn. “Well I’m working  late, you should swing by the bar after, we have a great band on, the guys might be coming too.”

Emma stood there awkwardly for a few moments, forcing herself to breathe deeply.

“Okay,” she finally sighed, smiling thinly as she waved goodbye and tried not to run too fast towards the door. 

* * *

The “date’ had taken only a half hour. Luckily, her mark had turned up pretty drunk, so she’d cut the small talk and cuffed him as the entrees were taken away. She left a large tip before dragging the guy downtown, getting him booked and processed in record time for a Friday evening.

It wasn’t even nine yet when she found herself at a bar near the station, knocking back shots of Scotch and glaring at the few men who dared approach her. Killian’s earlier invitation flitted through her mind.

She shouldn’t go there. She  _ should _ go home, get a rare early night, be thankful she made it through apprehending her mark with no bruises…

She  _ really _ shouldn’t even think about heading to the bar.

Ten minutes later she was getting into a cab.

* * *

The warm, damp wall of air hit her as soon as she opened the bar’s old-fashioned wooden door. The band was playing and the room was dark, the area in front of the stage filled with people dancing and singing along to the rock classic she knew the band were so popular for. But she wasn’t interested in what was happening on the stage.

The liquor burned in her belly, giving her a curious kind of courage that had her scanning the room for Killian, seeking out his thatch of dark hair behind the bar and feeling a surge of determination when she did.

“Emma,” he smiled as she slid her way onto a stool, resting her purse on the bar as Killian settled another patron’s tab.

She tapped her fingers against the bar as she waited, letting her gaze linger a little bit too long on the little hairs that curled around his neck and the way his forearms flexed as he ran a rag over the glossy wood of the bartop. 

“You came,” he continued, leaning forward until she caught a whiff of his cologne (which went straight to her gut-)

“Yeah,” she shrugged, trying so sound as laid back as possible, “Work didn’t take as long as expected, so…”

“Well I’m glad,” he replied, with a tiny nod and she let out a breathy sigh (thankful for the loud music to cover it up). “Drink?” he asked.

She nodded, “Scotch,” she answered, and half a minute later a generous pour over ice was placed in front of her. He fixed another couple of drinks as she sipped hers, tapping her toe on the rung of the stool in time with the music, trying not to  _ too _ obviously ogle her roommate, losing the battle with the liquor over her senses.

“Hey,” he grinned a few minutes later, a beer in his own hand and his cheeks flushed in a way that was making her think of all the naughty ways she could help him recreate that look, “I’m actually really happy you came.”

“You are?” Damn, she had to get ahold of herself. Everything out of her mouth sounded breathless.

“Aye,” he continued, “You see-”

“Jones!” Came a voice over the microphone, “Killian fucking Jones, get your arse up here.”

She gave Killian an odd look as he rolled his eyes.

“I’m working,” he shouted out, the crowd turning around to look at him.

Behind him came another voice, that Emma recognized as one of the other bar employees, Leroy. “I got ya, Jones, go show off .”

Still confused, Emma watched as Killian smiled shyly and made his way to the bar hatch and then up to the stage. She abandoned her perch at the bar, and made her way towards the crowd in time to see him slipping the strap of a guitar over his shoulder.

“Welcome our special guest, Killian!” The lead singer announced, his accent was British but very different from Killian’s - less smooth, more rolling and with a harsher edge.

“Hello,” Killian mumbled into the microphone, his low timbre cutting through her like a knife through hot butter. Oh my god, she thought, what the hell was he doing?

“Now, this is Killian’s first time up on stage in a good few years, so even if he’s crap, try not to be to hard on ‘im.”

“Cheers, Scarlet,” Killian replied, rolling his eyes and making Emma smile.

The drummer kicked in, signaling the start of a new song. Killian began strumming his guitar, she could see he made a few mistakes at first, fumbling over the finger work, but by the end of the track he was really getting into it, rocking his head to the beat. Emma was mesmerized. And very, very turned on.

Scarlet’s vocals died down and there was a few seconds delay as he talked to Killian, her roommate's eyes widening until the other guy gave him a playful punch to the shoulder. “Next up, this ponce will be on vocals.” 

It was a slower song, one she didn’t recognise, not that she was concentrating much on the lyrics. Instead she found herself mesmerized by his voice and the way he seemed so in the moment. He sang smoothly, with barely a hint of his accent and if she was hot for him before, she was twice as much now. She’d had a weakness for musicians since high school.

Before she realised it, the song drew to a close.The applause was deafening, with a few whistles to boot.

He shook hands with the band and then leaned into the mike, “And now I have to go get behind that bar and keep all you guys in drinks,” he teased and elicited a ripple of laughter from the crowd. 

“And I think that means, time for a break!” laughed Scarlet as the quieter bar music was turned back on.

After setting down the guitar, Killian picked his way down the steps. She tried to weave her way through the people milling in front of the stage, desperate to talk to him, to tease him over his hidden talent and to take a further flirtatious step with the help of the Scotch but she lost sight of him. Frowning, she tossed back the rest of her drink and headed for the restroom. Her cheeks felt hot, the back of her neck damp with sweat from the crowd (and  _ him _ ). She sat in a stall for a good ten minutes as she collected her thoughts. Was Ruby right? Should she just go for it and see if what she felt for Killian was just lust or something more? Because it was becoming ridiculous. The wanting him. She hadn’t felt this into a guy since she was a teenager with a crush on the captain of the football team. But part of her knew this was more than that-

Damn, she’d had too many drinks to think straight.

Giving up on her introspection, she touched up her make up and brushed out her hair. She may as well get another drink and then what happens… happens.

The hallway outside the bathroom was dark and narrow. She’d only taken a few steps when she realised she was not alone and that a couple were making out near the doors. Emma rolled her eyes, ready to squeeze past them- When she paused.

“Killian?” She blurted out, eyes focussing in the darkness and he immediately stopped, pulling back sharply from a brunette with a too-short skirt and pointy ‘fuck me’ red nails.

“Emma,” he stuttered, disentangling himself from the other woman, his eyes darting between the two.

“Who’s this?” the girl asked, looking Emma up and down.

“I’m Emma, who the hell are you?” Emma replied, folding her arms and wondering who to be more pissed off with. Killian, the girl (or  _ herself _ ).

“Emma, this is…” he looked at the brunette, “What’s your name again?”

“ _ Madison _ ,” the girl whined, rolling her eyes. “Like the avenue,” she added, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Or the state capital of Wisconsin,” Emma muttered under her breath, feeling an instant dislike to the other woman.

“Aye, Madison, a fan of the band and Madison this is Emma Swan, my…” he seemed lost for words.

“Your-?” Madison asked, narrowing her eyes.

Emma tapped her foot on the floor, watching as Killian turned redder by the moment. Good, she thought, I’m glad you’re embarrassed.

“Yeah, Killian, just what am I?” Emma demanded, getting more irritated with each second - the way Madison was looking at Killian made her skin crawl, just as the memory of seeing her roommate with his tongue down someone else’s throat was making her want to vomit.

“She’s my, um… well, my room…” he paused and she could swear beads of sweat were forming on his forehead as both women stared at him, “My room… uh, friend?”

“Huh?” Emma grunted, rocking back on her heels, “What the fuck is that?” 

Killian opened his mouth but no words came out.

Coward, she thought, anger bubbling in her chest.

( _ Irrational _ anger, a little voice whispered. He owes you nothing, it said, he’s just your roommate…)

“Actually, save your breath, I don’t even know why the hell I came here in the first place.”

And angry with the fire of a thousand suns, Emma stomped away, refusing to even glance at Killian again.

* * *

Holy, buggering fuck. What the hell had just happened?

He’d been trying so bloody hard to get the blonde-haired goddess across the hallway out of his goddamn mind - and had almost managed - when she was in front of him as he had been almost dry humping another lass. And she looked pissed.

And he was fucking confused.

Emma had ran out of the place like her knickers were on fire, barely giving him time to escape from Madison’s clutches and make him seriously consider his life choices, catching just a glimpse of her blonde hair as she exited the building.

He’d pleaded with Leroy to cover the last hour of his shift - the shorter man grouching for a full ten minutes before he agreed - with the caveat that Killian cover his next two delivery shifts (the ones Killian hated because it involved leaving his bed before nine am). But Killian didn’t have time to really care about that, instead he was in his car and racing back home, hoping that she would be there.

And then what?

Well, he wasn’t too sure about that.

* * *

It was very quiet in the loft when he got back, which wasn’t a surprise since the guys were out on dates and had planned to hit the bar later. He closed the door and took a few silent steps along the hallway before he heard the sound of something clattering to the floor in the living room.

“Emma?” he called out.

Rounding the corner, he saw her stood by the couch, a bottle of Dave’s beer in one hand, the other trying to rifle through her purse.

“Emma,” he sighed in relief, until she looked up and gave him a harsh piercing glare that actually quite scared him.

“Oh,” she breezed, “Fancy seeing you here. Where’s the Bridges of Madison County? Already stripping off for you? Not that it would take her long in that slutty excuse for an outfit-” she stopped and took a long draw from the bottle, a small trail of beer slowly bubbling down her chin.

“Huh?” he grunted, taking a moment to process what she’d just said, until it dawned on him. “You’re jealous,” he wondered, folding his arms as he pressed his tongue into his cheek.

“What?” she spluttered, dropping her purse onto the couch until the contents scattered. “As if.”

But he was sure. So damn sure. The way she’d reacted to catching him in the hallway made sense. (And yeah, it wasn’t the best life choice he’d made recently but that girl was determined and it had been a while… And he’d been pretty certain until half an hour ago that nothing was ever going to happen with Emma bloody Swan.)

Killian smirked, taking pleasure in her pink cheeks as she scrambled among her belongings on the couch.

“I am actually just about to call a  _ friend  _ of my own. That’s why I left the bar.”

She fumbled with her phone as Killian let his arms drop to his sides and took a few swaggering strides closer.

“You want me,” he insisted, “You can stop denying it.”

She flashed him an annoyed glance, “Oh my God, you’re so arrogant.”

Shrugging he squared up to her, “It’s not arrogance when it’s the truth.”

“Ha,” she laughed, tossing back her hair and exposing her gloriously slender neck to him, “Jones, I am so far from wanting you it’s not even funny.”

“Alright then,” he quipped, “Prove it.”

“Prove it?” She asked, leaning a little back from him.

“Prove.  _ It _ .” he repeated, giving her his best cocky look, hooking his thumbs in the belt loops of his jeans and tilting his head to one side.

* * *

“Prove.  _ It _ .” The words rung in her ears.

She was staring at his lips. She knew it. And she was pretty goddamn sure he did too. She was so close she could could see the ginger hairs of his beard - if she wanted to - but she’d rather look at that full bottom lip that had tormented her so much the past few weeks and barely restrained the urge to tug it between her teeth and taste him again.

Well, that restraint lasted all of about five seconds.

“Come here,” she demanded, dropping her phone to the floor, and pulling at his unfairly tight t-shirt (the one that clung to the bulge of his biceps, with the henley neckline that gave her a view of that chest hair which she found ridiculously arousing), and pressing her lips to his, suppressing a muffled, ‘umph’ as his hips locked against her own.

Holy shit, it was better than she remembered. Maybe it was the Scotch. Maybe it was the hormones pumping in her veins after all those goddamn dreams she’d been having. She didn’t care.

She raked her fingers into his scalp as his hands firmly gripped her waist, pressing their bodies tighter together until she thought she couldn’t breathe any more. Then his lips found her neck, his beard scraping at the skin, her pulse flickering on its surface as she tried to hitch her leg around his waist, cursing the tight skirt that was stopping her.

Kicking off her heels, she steered him backwards pressing him against the wall as one hand palmed his growing erection, a thrill shooting through her as he groaned a muttered ‘fuck’ into her skin. Then his hands were raking up her body, reaching the straps of her dress, he pulled the top down, exposing her black silk bra to his touch.

Oh god, she was done for, she thought as his lips trailed over the skin of her breasts, his slightly rough palms joining them, sending heat straight between her legs.

Spinning them around, it was her turn to be against the wall, his hands moving to squeeze her ass, his lips and tongue working a spot on her neck that she was sure would leave a mark.

And then he let out a breathy moan into her ear and she just snapped.

“Take off your clothes,” she demanded, pushing him away, pleased that he looked as wrecked as she did with his messy hair and heaving chest.

“I believe you’re losing here-”

“Shut the fuck up Jones and strip,” she snapped, looking around for a place to continue this. They clearly weren’t going to make it into the bedroom.

Emma reclined against the ancient dining table that the guys had picked up at a garage sale, trying to look sexy, whilst simultaneously feeling infuriated at her devilishly handsome roommate  _ and _ three sheets to the wind after copious amounts of Scotch on the rocks. But now wasn’t the time to think about shit like that.

Killian had peeled off his shirt and was undoing the buttons of his fly when she looked across at him. His eyes darkened and her breath caught in her throat.

_ Holy shit _ , she thought, this is really happening. She swallowed hard, chewing on her lip-

He was back in a flash, clawing at her dress, his mouth against her stomach as he peeled the fabric away with a satisfying rip.

“Sorry,” he panted.

“Not my favourite,” she replied breathlessly, grabbing his neck and pulling him into another searing kiss as she wrapped her legs around his hips, pressing up into him and crying out at the contact. He was hard and hot and heavy between her legs and she was already imagining what he would feel like inside her.

They were a messy tangle of hands and lips and tongues, Killian rutting into her as she began to lose all sense of space and time-

Until there was an almighty CRACK and the once firm surface beneath her fell away and she landed on the floor with a thump, the heavy body of her roommate crashing into her milliseconds later.

“What the fuck,” she groaned, cradling her head as he rolled away amidst the ruins of the table.

“Knew that thing had woodworm,” he hissed, wincing a little as he tried to stand.

“You knew that thing was damaged and you let us - I mean, you were, you know-”

“Me?” he cried, “You’re blaming me for this?” He gestured to the wrecked pieces of wood.

“Yes, Mr  _ Prove it! _ You started this?”   
“I started this?” He laughed and began fastening his fly back up as Emma stood.

“I’m not the one who was trying out her Miss America poses on the goddamn furniture!”

Emma balled her fists, blood rising, but not in lust this time, this time in anger. “You, you…”

“What?” He spat.

“URGH,” she screamed, grabbing her dress and searching around for her phone, “This was just about the worst goddamn idea I’ve ever had.”

“Yeah,” he called after her, “You’re not the only one.”

She looked back over her shoulder at Killian, narrowing her eyes, “I’m going to bed. And don’t bother following me.”

“As if!” he shouted back as she stomped away, slamming her door until the door shook on its hinges.

Lying back against the door, her heartrate dropped.

She let the dress and phone fall to the floor.

What the hell had just happened?

* * *

Grabbing the bottle she hadn’t finished, he took a long swig before collecting his shirt and retreating to his own room, so tantalizingly close to hers. He shut it with barely less force than she had, finishing the beer and tossing it in the wastebasket before sinking to sit on his bed, his head in his hands.

He’d nearly-

They’d nearly-

He groaned and flopped onto his back.

How on Earth was he going to fix this?   
  
**A/N: the eternal question - why so long between chapters? Well, I’m working on another fic, life stuff and, frankly my muse is not very cooperative. Feedback helps, so if you’ve enjoyed this, do the thing :D**


	9. Episode 9

_ Over the following few days _

Emma was feeling awkward. That’s the word. 

Freaking awkward.

Explaining the broken table to Dave and Robin. Awkward. (And a lie.)

Seeing Killian the next morning when they both decided to head for the bathroom at the same time. Very awkward.

Having to pretend that nothing happened and you absolutely did not almost screw your roommate in the dining room. 

Goddamn _ painfully  _ awkward.

At least Killian seemed to be on the same page, creeping around the apartment, avoiding her gaze and scurrying away whenever it seemed like the two might be left alone.

Yeah, freaking awkward.

* * *

Well, he’d fucked things up again.

Avoiding her had taken on a new level of ridiculousness. He couldn’t look at her without feeling a weird mixture of shame, desire and confusion. Just how could things flip around like they did? Wanting became anger and anger became regret. If only he could turn back the time and approach her, understanding that there had been a chance for something more. Damn, he would have given anything for that.

But it was too late now.

* * *

_ Two weeks later _

Emma studied her reflection in the bathroom mirror. The mark that Killian left on her skin above her breast was almost gone, and in a stupid way she mourned its loss. Without it, the last proof that something had almost happened was gone. The dining table had long since been confined to the trash and replaced with Ikea’s finest, and her ruined dress had found its way down the garbage chute first thing the morning after.

Now she could pretend that nothing had happened. God, she hadn’t even told Ruby.

The sound of raised voices took her thoughts from that subject and had her following the din into the living room. There, David was standing, cheeks flushed, Robin and Killian beside him as they gave him manly hugs and pats on the back.

“Hey, what’s up guys?” She asked, avoiding Killian’s gaze when he looked her way.

David grinned. “She said yes.”

“Huh?” Emma replied.

“Mary Margaret… I proposed and she said yes!”

“Oh my god!” She cried, dashing forward and wrapping her arms around the blonde’s neck, “That’s amazing!”

“Thanks,” he smiled as she pulled away.

“We still can’t believe it,” Robin sighed, shaking his head, “Poor girl doesn’t know what she’s in for.”

“Hey,” Emma teased, nudging Robin in the shoulder, “Mr. Nolan here is a catch and a half.”

Killian, who had been very quiet up to this point suddenly blurted out, “We should celebrate. Tonight. A little party here.”

“Yes,” Robin agreed, “That’s an excellent idea! What do you think?” He asked Dave.

“I think I’m easily talked into these things. Just something small though, a few friends.”

“Excellent,” Robin cheered, “I’ll get on the phone and round up the troops.”

Both men walked off to their rooms, Emma and Killian were left alone. A few painful seconds passed.

“Um, it’s great news, huh.”

Killian seemed startled by her words and took a few seconds to nod and mumble, “Sure,” before he rattled off some excuse about laundry and practically ran from the apartment.

Freaking awkward.

* * *

If there is one substance in life that is guaranteed to ease social discomfort, it was whiskey. At least that’s what Emma had decided halfway through her second drink of the night.

Robin had done a sterling job of rounding up most of David and Mary Margaret’s mutual friends and Emma had called on Ruby for moral support (well, it wasn’t like she told her that was the reason.... There may have been some promises of a trip to a club for some dancing afterwards). And for all the people there, for all the incessant chatter from her best friend about the amazing sex she was having, nothing could help quiet the urge inside to seek out her dark haired, scruffily handsome roommate.

Except liquor.

She tried not to think about the consequences of the last time she had drank around him and told herself this was different. The apartment was full. One friend had even brought over some DJ decks and was playing some feel-good party music. And she had Ruby there to distract her.

“Oh god,” the brunette cried in between sips of white wine, “He did this thing the other night with his tongue. He had one hand pushing on my knee and the other one-”

“I think I need the bathroom,” Emma interrupted, finishing her drink and resisting the urge to belch from the bubbles in the coke she’d used as a mixer.

“Cool,” Ruby sighed picking up her phone, “Victor is probably on break now. I’ll finish the story when you’re back.”

“Awesome,” Emma lied, not heading for the bathroom but instead for the kitchen and refilling her drink with twice the measure and leaving out the coke.

It burned her tongue, but it felt good. She knew another one like this and she wouldn’t be thinking about Jones any more.

She lingered in the kitchen a while longer, sipping her drink and rearranging the bowls of snacks the guys had laid out until she felt a chill in the air. Peeking out into the living room she saw that Ruby was still on the phone (she wasn’t sure how, considering the noise level of the music) so she decided to head to her room and get a light sweater. The loft was busy but the windows were open and it was almost winter now.

In her room, she dawdled by her closet, staring at the rows of similar woollens, her mind wandering until she heard a knock at the door.

“Hey, Emma?”

Oh God, it was Killian.  _ What did he want? _

“Um, Mary Margaret is having some kind of hair emergency and she asked if you have a straightening iron?” He looked as awkward as he did perplexed by the information he was being asked to convey.    
“Oh, um, yeah,” she shrugged, pulling out a simple grey cardigan in fine knit wool and then moving to her dressing table where she located the appliance as he stood gingerly in the doorway. “There you go,” she added quietly.

He took hold of the hair iron, while she still had her fingers wrapped around the other end. Their hands lightly brushed and then their eyes darted to one another’s, a little electric jolt shooting up her arm.

“Things have been weird,” Killian whispered, the noise from the DJ suddenly seeming a million miles away.

“Yeah,” she nodded, self consciously tucking her hair behind her ear with her free hand.

“I’m sorry,” he offered, fidgeting from foot to foot, “I feel like all I’ve done for the past couple of months is make our friendship more and more complicated.”

“I’m to blame too,” she insisted, finally letting go of the iron to push her hands into her jean pockets, “I’m not normally like this.”

“Like what?” He asked.

“I don’t know how to explain it.” 

“Maybe we should wipe the slate clean then?” He asked.

“Yeah, maybe,” she agreed, even though in her heart she knew that was the last thing she wanted.

“Okay, well I better take this-”

“And I need to get back to Ruby-”

There was an odd little moment where the two went for the doorway and their hips knocked against each other and she was sure- sure - he let out little gasp.

And then he smiled at her, a little nervous curve of the lips that lasted mere seconds.

And then he was gone into the hallway and she let out the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.

* * *

He was shaking. Really, shaking. Well, his hands were.

The hair contraption was barely held between his fingers as he bounded to David’s room where Mary Margaret was waiting.

“Oh thank you,” she smiled as the door closed behind him, “You are a lifesaver. I just wish David would hurry up with this liquor store run.”

“Well this was a bit impromptu, love,” he replied with shaky breath.

“Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!”

His lips flickered with a brief smile as his eyes fell to the floor.

“Killian, I’m worried. It’s not like you to be coy.”

“Just tired,” he lied.

Mary Margaret shook her head and patted the space on the bed beside her. “Nah-ah. You are a terrible liar Jones.”

“Never was good at poker,” he said wryly as he sat down.

“What is it? Has Milah been texting you again?”

“God no,” he shook his head, the last time that had happened was two years ago and he’d changed his number since then. He wasn’t going to let her play mind games with him anymore. Especially after their last meeting. “Nothing like that.”

“Then what?” She reached over and touched his arm, “I’ve known you almost eight years Killian. And you’ve not been yourself for a while.”

“But maybe I have?” He asked.

“Hmm?”

He shrugged and run a hand through his hair, “Maybe the Killian Jones who’s been around for the past few years wasn’t the real me. Maybe it was an act.”

“Oh,” she sighed softly. “So what’s changed?”

And he wanted to tell her, god he did. But he also wasn’t quite ready to spill open his heart, even for as lovely a woman as his friend’s fiancee.

“I’m not sure,” he lied.

(Because he was a coward - what was new there?)

“Well change can be good. You know we all care about you, want the best for you?”

“I know,” he nodded, throwing his arm over her shoulder and giving her a side hug, “And I don’t know what I did to deserve such good mates.”

“You’re worth it Killian, you just sometimes forget.”

* * *

It was after two when most of the partygoers had left. Ruby making her exit as soon as she got a text from Victor to say he was no longer on call - their plans for dancing forgotten. Not that Emma was bothered by that at all. She got it, her friend was in love and happy. And she wasn’t exactly in the mood for dancing.

The roommates, Regina and Mary Margaret gathered in the living room. The newly engaged couple taking up a place on the floor beneath the couch where Robin and Regina sat. Emma and Killian took an armchair each on opposite sides of the space.

“Come on then, lovebirds, spill. How did he propose?” Regina asked.

The newly engaged couple glanced at each other and exchanged shy smiles. “Well, we have this restaurant-” Mary Margaret began.

“-That we’ve loved since college. We had our first date there.”

“Fernando’s? Didn’t that place close last winter? I thought the old man retired.”

“Yes he did,” Mary Margaret nodded, “But this guy here-” -she squeezed David’s knee- “-tracked down the owner. Turns out he hadn’t sold the place yet.”   
“And I talked him into opening up for just one more night.”

Mary Margaret smiled, “He had candles and a violinist and my favorite pasta…”

“And then before dessert I got down on one knee-”

“And I said yes,” his fiancee added, grinning out and holding out her left hand, like the cat who got the cream.

“Well, it’s about bloody time mate,” said Robin, holding up his beer and the others copied, clinking together bottles and glasses. “Always wondered what took you so long.”

“I guess when you know, you know. We weren’t in any rush in our 20s,” David shrugged, “And I guess we’re growing up now.”

“Uhuh,” Mary Margaret nodded, “I might even convince him to move in with me now.”

“End of an era,” Killian added suddenly as he gazed sullenly into his half empty glass.

“Yeah, well change is good sometimes,” Regina chipped in. “If I had not made the move here from New York, I never would have met Robin.”

Mary Margaret cooed as Robin picked up his girlfriend’s hand a pressed a kiss to the back of it.

“A fact for which I will ever be grateful. Though it wasn’t exactly love at first sight,” Robin continued, interlacing their fingers.

“How did you two meet?” Emma asked, suddenly curious, “I hope you don’t mind me saying but you don’t exactly run in the same circles.”

Regina let out a peal of laughter, “You can say that. It’s a cliche but we met in a bar.”

“I was out celebrating a… Friday,” he paused and raised his brows, “And this lovely lady was waiting for a date.”

“Ooh,” Mary Margaret responded, “I didn’t know that detail!”

“Anyway, there was small incident involving a glass of red wine and a rather fetching blue dress-”

“It was Prada and he practically fell over me on his way to the bathroom.”

“Thanks love,” Robin quipped through grated teeth.”I insisted on paying for the cleaning, so we swapped numbers.”

“And then the next day I get this call. ‘Who is Regina and why do I have your number?’”

“No!” Mary Margaret hissed as Emma chuckled.

“Yep. He had forgotten me. So I explained-”

“And I felt like a complete arse and begged her to meet me so I could pay for the dry cleaning-”

“So we had coffee-”

“And then took her dress to the cleaners-”

“And then that became lunch-”

“And before I knew it I was head over heels,” Robin smiled, pulling her towards him for a kiss.

“True love conquers all,” David announced, attempting another toast but main spilling beer on the couch.

Settling back against the couch, Regina pointed her glass at Killian, “What about you, Jones, you ever been in love? Aside from She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named.”

“Regina!” Robin hissed, grimacing as the other occupants turned to look at the bartender.

“What?” She shrugged, “I’m sure we’re all a little curious.”

And Emma was certainly curious. Enough to put down her drink and sink her elbows into her thighs as she propped her chin on her cheek.

“There was someone,” Killian sighed with a roll of his eyes.

Emma felt her heart sink a little.

“Oh really?” David grinned, drunker than Emma had ever seen him, “That’s news to me.”

“I don’t tell you everything mate,” Killian admitted, shifting in his chair.

“Wait, is this some high school sweetheart? Did some British crumpet break your heart? That’s why you fled to the New World,” Regina sassed, laughing at her own joke (though no one else was).

“No, I was the one who left the broken hearts behind when I stepped on that plane,” he joked, but Emma thought it sounded hollow even as she laughed along.

“And how did you know you loved her?” Mary Margaret asked softly, and Emma could have sworn she saw a knowing glance pass between the two.

“Ah, good question,” Killian replied. He paused and picked up the bottle of spiced rum he and Robin had been sharing from the coffee table and topped his glass up. “I guess it was... She kind of snuck up on me. She’s a beautiful woman-”

“Of course-” David nodded with a lopsided grin.

“Yet it was so much more than that. And then I was faced with the idea of not having her in my life anymore.”

“That sounds familiar,” David added, pulling his fiancee a little closer.

Emma stiffened further in her chair. Who was he talking about? It didn’t make sense. He was the one-and-done kinda guy, wasn’t he?

“You see, ‘gina the great Lothario has some emotional depth,” Robin teased until Killian shot him a warning look, “I’m kidding, Jones. It’s just, you know what you’re like. Hardly the relationship type.”

“Sex is great, Locksley, but there’s more to life than that. Much more.”

Robin stared at his friend, slightly agog as the room went quiet, each person having a moment’s introspection.

Was she wrong about Killian? Had she judged him too harshly? Was this the real him? Or was it all an act-

“People change,” Mary Margaret piped up, “And I think that’s great.”

“Yeah,” David agreed, “We’re not getting any younger, right?”

And that was when Emma found her voice, “But I guess things didn’t work out?”

Killian took a deep breath but avoided looking in her direction. “No,” he shook his head, “not the way I… hoped. I guess I screwed it up. She didn’t feel the same.”

“I guess some loves aren’t meant to be, no matter how hard we try,” Robin added sagely.

“Aye mate, maybe so,” he smiled, “all good things, you know.” And though he smiled, the expression reached nowhere near his eyes as he pulled his glass towards his mouth.

“Yeah,” Robin agreed and the two took a drink, as Emma slunk further into her chair and allowed herself the tiniest little hope that maybe, just maybe, her handsome roommate had been talking about her.

* * *

Regina and Robin left soon after, Regina hating the shared bathroom in the loft and Robin clearly with high hopes that the night was not over for the two of them. Killian and David worked on the recycling, while Emma and the Mary Margaret worked in tandem to clear up the other trash that had been left, filling up three trash bags before the petite brunette’s yawning became too pronounced to ignore. “You should go,” Emma insisted, “I can do the rest.”

“You sure?” She asked, her eyes heavy with tiredness.

“Yes,” Emma nodded, “I can always finish in the morning.”

“Thank you,” Mary Margaret smiled, giving her a tentative hug. They were friends, but not yet what Emma would call close. Though the more she got to know the other woman, the more she wanted to be.

“I’m really happy for you both,” Emma sighed as they pulled apart.

Mary Margaret grinned, “He’s a great guy.” Then a strange look passed over her face. “They all are, you know. I’ve known them for years. Even Killian - maybe, especially Killian. He’s been a little lost recently but I think he’s coming out of it.”

“Oh,” Emma exclaimed in surprise at the sudden mention of Killian Jones. “I, um…”

“He loves hard, you know? Milah did a number on him, for sure. But he’s changing. It’s like a little light has switched on in his head and he’s seeing the world differently. You wouldn’t know what caused that, would you?” She probed.

Emma reddened at the insinuation. She knew exactly what the other woman was talking about. And she was saved from responding by the sound of the two men returning from outside.

“Just, don’t be too hard on him, okay?”

She opened her mouth to reply, but David and Killian were in the kitchen before she could, Mary Margaret wrapping her arm around David’s and looking up at him dreamily, “Take me home.”

David pressed a kiss to her forehead, “Of course.” He looked over at Emma, “You okay finishing up?”

“I can help,” Killian offered.

“Great,” Emma smiled softly as the other two pulled on their coats and slipped into the night.

* * *

Quietly Emma scrubbed down the kitchen surfaces as Killian put away the bowls and plates that had held the party snacks and polished the wine glasses that he had borrowed from the bar that afternoon. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but he felt something simmering below the surface that he couldn’t quite name.

He was finished before she was, so he watched silently from the doorway as she peeled off the rubber gloves she had been wearing and tossed them in the sink. She turned around and saw him looking at her.

“What?” She grinned, biting on her bottom lip.

“Nothing,” he shrugged, “You just clean rather well. Maybe you’re in the wrong career?”

Despite everything that had happened, he couldn’t help but tease her. It was just so natural to him.

“Bit too boring for me. I like a job that gets the adrenaline pumping.”

Damn it, she was flirting back. His heart rate rose.

“Oh, that’s important to you, something that gets your heart racing?”

She let out a breathy sigh and he took that as a sign to close the space between them.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

She looked up into his eyes and it was like time had slipped away and he hadn’t royally screwed things up. He saw that sparkle in her eyes, the one he had dismissed so easily before, but after his talk with Mary Margaret earlier, he began to understand just what it could mean.

“Indeed I would,” he nodded, his breath catching in his throat as he eyes flickered closed and the heat between their bodies seemed as fierce as a furnace.

She opened her eyes again.

“Killian…” she whispered, “What are we doing?”

“I don’t know…” he admitted, “But I want to.”

He pressed a hand to her cheek and she leaned into it, soaking in his affection that seemed to seep through his pores and mingled with the lust and desire that always seemed to swirl around them.

“Kiss me,” she asked. He hesitated a second, running a finger along her bottom lip.

* * *

She waited for him to kiss her. Holding her breath, looking into his gorgeous eyes… waiting. And then he loosened his grip.

“Maybe we should wait… maybe we should take things slow?”

“Oh, yeah,” she nodded, disappointment washing over her.

“I just… I feel like I’ve screwed things up by being too impulsive and I want to show you that I’m not that guy you think I am-”

“I get it, I do…” she whispered, slowly releasing her grip on him. “I…” she swallowed the lump of expectation in her throat, “Slow is good.” 

She stood awkwardly for a second before clearing her throat, “I should sleep. Long day and all.”

He stared at her for a moment.

“Yes, of course. Goodnight.”

Then she left the kitchen, disappointment and confusion marring her features.

* * *

It took him all of five seconds to realize he was being an idiot. A right royal fucking idiot.

In bounding strides, he chased after her, just in time to see her door slam closed. He pushed it open without ceremony, taking in the shocked expression on her face as he closed the gap between them and pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

Damn he kissed her.

He kissed her with passion and wanting, but also with tenderness and promise. He poured more into that kiss that he could with words and he was dizzy for air when she collapsed panting onto his chest.

“What was that?” She asked, her eyes shining.

“I might have changed, love. But I’m an impatient bugger still.”

He pressed another kiss to her mouth, this time tangling their tongues together and sinking his hands into her hair until the room span and she pulled away.

“I’m not saying I won’t fuck this up-”

“I think you’re worth the gamble,” she admitted.

“You do?” He asked, surprised and still not quite believing what was happening.   
“Yeah,” she smiled, running her thumb down his cheek, “Now kiss me.”

* * *

If she’d thought their previous kisses were good, well, they were nothing compared to this one. Sure, she felt the lust and the need, but somehow a more vulnerable side showed too - like the way be pressed tiny kisses down her neck as she tugged off her cardigan, or the whispered words of praise that fell from his lips as they tumbled onto her bed, limbs tangled.

It was Killian, but it wasn’t the man she thought she knew. There was a rawness in his touch and the little looks that passed between the two as they almost shyly removed their clothes. Nothing like she expected. So much… more.

She was aching for him. The time for waiting was over. The time for being scared was over. He was worth taking this chance.

* * *

His body felt numb as he lay beside her, wrapped in sweat-dampened sheets, with her head on his chest, his fingers running through her golden hair.

It had been so long since he’d had anything more than meaningless sex. And this was the complete opposite of that. Damn, he didn’t want to use the L-word… but that’s the closest comparison his blood-depleted brain could manage.

Anyway, he was too tired and too satisfied to think further on that right now. So he pressed a kiss to her temple and pulled her a little closer. One happy night. He would allow himself at least that.

 

_**A/N: I know! Another chapter so soon! Well it's thanks to your enthusiasm and reviews so, you know what to do!** _


	10. Chapter 10

“Shhh,” Killian hushed from his place between Emma’s legs.

“I’m trying,” she whispered, her voice strained as her fingers dug into the comforter beneath her. But it wasn’t that easy with his tongue working in circles and two fingers pushed inside her, curling around and pressing against places that made her toes curl and all reasonable thought leave her head.

Yeah, it was like  _ that  _ between them.

_ Freaking amazing. _

It had been two weeks since they had fallen into bed together. Two weeks of glorious sex interspersed with intimate conversation and sleeping intertwined.

And not telling a single soul about what had happened.

See, at first, it had been they just wanted to wait a few days, let themselves figure out that was happening between them before they brought anyone into the mix. And then they kinda liked it being a secret… the sneaking around was fun, and admittedly a turn on - even though right now all she wanted to do was scream out his name.

Sure it had been tricky slipping in and out of one another’s rooms and acting like things were completely normal.

But it was fun.

And Killian? Well, he was a revelation.

Yes, he was great in bed. Clearly he’d picked up a trick or two over the years, but far more importantly than that he paid attention to her. He focused on her wants and needs, easily slipping between the cocky guy who made her laugh and the deviously sexy devil who told her in explicit detail what he wanted to do to her and had her half undone before she even got her pants off.

He’d told her about his childhood in England. She’d told him about growing up in foster care. The first seeds of intimacy being sowed beyond that which required naked skin.

They hadn’t labeled what it was yet. 

There was still that barrier between them, a final layer of restraint that she could feel slowly dissolving as as they held each other and talked into the night.

She could wait. It was worth it.

* * *

 

Trying to keep a stupid grin off his face - at least in the loft - was bloody hard.

He’d not felt so giddily happy since… well, he wasn’t sure he ever had.

She filled his every waking thought. Emma’s smile. Emma’s eyes. Emma naked beneath him panting and digging her nails into his back (he wore those marks with pride, even if he had to hide them).

She was… she was…

God, he didn’t even know where to begin. 

All that growing tension and wanting between them, all that overthinking and worrying, well it seemed crazy now. Now that they’d spent the last dozen nights sharing each other’s beds, talking and exploring each other into the wee hours.

Emma drove him wild. The way she teased and tormented him, the way their bodies fit together… it was mindblowing. After so many years of meaningless sex he’d not thought it possible to feel a real connection with someone ever again. But here it was happening, the connection deepening with every kiss and touch.

Yes, both were still hesitant. They hadn’t had ‘the talk’, but it wasn’t like either of them was seeing anyone else. And soon enough they would have to address the issue of letting their friends know something was going on - he wasn’t really sure how long this sneaking around business was going to last.

But they had time. 

A little more time.

* * *

 

It was morning, barely light but enough to brighten the room sufficiently to be able to look at him clearly. She was curled under his arm, her face pressed into his side, one hand splayed over his chest. Emma listened to  the steady beating of his heart, a warm feeling spreading through her body as she snuggled closer-

“Killian! Can I-”

She couldn’t react before the door opened, beside her Killian began to rouse, pressing his free hand against his eyes.

“What the-” he began, his eyes flickering to Emma’s.

“Emma?” David cried, his eyes bulging as she watched in horror. Clawing at the comforter, she pulled it higher.

“Oh god,” she groaned, cheeks blazing.

“Dammit, Dave, you ever heard of knocking?” Killian spat as Emma buried her head in the sheets.

“Um, oh shit, damn…”

Emma had never heard David swear before and it took all her self control not to burst  into laughter.

“Mate,” Killian pleaded and Emma snuck a glance at their fair haired roommate to see him as red as beetroot.

“Yeah, I’ll-”

The door shut again and Emma shuffled to sit up.

“Fuck,” Killian sighed. “That was…”

“Awkward,” Emma finished, dampening her lips with her tongue. 

“Aye,” he nodded, in that gravelly tone of his that sent shivers to her groin. Leaning down, he pulled her into a kiss.

“Well I guess the cat’s out of the bag now, then.”

“I suppose so,” he agreed, running his hands over her forearms, more shivers flickering down her spine. “Not exactly the way I’d hoped though.”

“Same,” she agreed, accepting that the little bubble they had created for themselves was about to burst. “It was going to happen sooner or later, I guess.”

“What do you think they’re going to say?”

Emma paused and then shrugged. “I have no idea. I mean what can they say, we’re adults?”

“ _ That _ we are,” he replied, a devious twinkle in his eye that made her blush once more. She really couldn’t get enough of him. “Urgh, we really should get up-”

“Yeah,” she moaned, running a hand over his chest again, loving the feel of the hair beneath her palm.

“You have work,” he continued, rocking up his hips.

“And you’re on delivery today-”

“Aye…” he hummed, as she crashed back into him.

Work could wait a little.

* * *

The best part of working the early morning shift was finishing at what Robin would term ‘a reasonable hour’. In this case he was back at the loft by 3pm, which allowed him time to putter about his room before Emma returned.

He’d decided that he would ask her on a date tonight. A real one. Now that Dave knew about them he was pretty sure everyone else would soon, if they didn’t already. No point to keep hiding things.

He’d just sat down in the living room to catch up on some shows he had TiVO’d when the man himself, David Nolan swung into the room. Killian stiffened immediately, not overly sure what to expect.

“Mate,” he nodded as David took a seat next to him.

“Killian,” he replied. The two sat quietly for a few uncomfortable seconds. “So. You and Emma.”

His tone was judgmental in a way only Nolan could be. 

“Yes.”

“What exactly is going on?”

Killian opened his mouth to reply, not really knowing how to classify the last two weeks, when of course that was the moment Emma decided to come waltzing in the front door.

“Oh,” she cried when she saw the two men on the couch. “Um, hi David.”

“Hey Emma,” he greeted, “We were actually just talking about you… two.”

“Really?” She smiled thinly, dropping her purse on the small table in the hallway and making her way towards them, joining Killian on the couch but he noticed sitting a careful distance from him. “And?” She continued.

“I was just asking what is… this,”  David replied, gesturing between the two of them.

Killian looked at Emma. Emma looked at Killian. Her eyes were as wide as he was sure his own were.

“Uhhh…” Killian paused, “We haven’t…”

“We haven’t labeled it yet,” Emma finished, rubbing her palms anxiously over her jeans.

David shrugged, “Well, if you had to venture a guess? Boyfriend and girlfriend? Roommates with benefits? This affects the rest of us, you know.”

Emma looked over at Killian, her eyes wide and a question on her lips.

“I don’t know that it has to, mate. I mean, we’ve been discreet so far. It’s not like we’re going at it in any of the common areas,” he grinned, hoping a little light humor would diffuse the tension he could see building in his roomate.

“And when it doesn’t work out?” David asked, folding his arms, “Then what?”

This time Emma spoke up. “Who said it won’t work out?” 

David shrugged, “It’s just…” he gave Killian a quick glance, “You don’t have the best track record.”

“Thanks,” Killian snapped, his mood darkening instantly. If a man who had known him for years didn’t believe in him, how on earth could Emma?

“Look, I just don’t want this to blow up in your faces.”

“You mean your face, Dave?” Killian pointed out.

David smiled wryly, “Killian, you’re like a brother to me. And Emma, I like you as a roommate but I like you even more as a friend. And Mary Margaret loves you. I just…”

Emma reached over and patted his arm, “Hey, relax. We’re taking it one day at a time, maybe you should too?”

Slowly, David nodded. “Okay. I’ll try, but just, you know-”

“I know mate,” Killian sighed as David stood to leave the room.

David lifted a hand and walked away in the direction of his room. Emma took the chance to slide onto the sofa beside Killian.

“Well since we don’t have to sneak around,” she said, leaning in to kiss him.

But Killian was still mulling over David’s words and pulled away, leaving her with a confused expression.

“What if he’s right?” he asked.

“What do you mean?” She asked, leaning back a little and narrowing her eyes.

Killian couldn’t look at her. Doubt and insecurity taking over as he stared at his hands. “What if I screw this up? God, the last thing I want to do is hurt you.”

“You won’t. I trust you.”

He took a deep breath and clenched his fists. “But _ I  _ don’t trust me. You don’t know what I’m like Emma… I’m not a good person.”

No, he wasn’t. He was at best, a womanizing drunk who’d somehow dragged his arse through the last decade with nothing to show for it.

“Says who?”

He was silent, too afraid to answer her. Everything that was between them so far was so fragile and delicate, he knew it would only take the slightest stupidity on his part for her to hate him.

And he couldn’t have that.

Finally, he let himself look at her. Her brow was furrowed and her eyes were dull and lacking in lustre. She was chewing on her lip as she studied him.

“Killian,” she began quietly,  “I can’t force you to be with me. I can’t force you to see what I see.”

“Maybe you don’t see the real me?”

“Really?” She cried softly, “Is that what you’re trying to tell me? That I’m a bad judge of character and all this dancing around between us has just been an act?”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he repeated, a heaviness in his heart as he spoke.

“Who says you will?” She countered, tilting up her chin.

And damn, he just wanted to kiss her.

“Maybe we should talk about this later?” He sighed, taking the coward’s way out again. “I just…”

He didn’t really have a reason to add. He just wanted to think some more. To tidy up these thoughts that David had planted in his mind.

“Okay Killian,” she sighed, “Well, you know where I am when you want to talk.”

And for the second time, he watched Emma Swan walk away. Only this time he let her.

* * *

When Emma’s phone rang as she entered her room, she cursed as she fished around in her purse and pulled it to her ear.

“Hey,” she sighed when she saw Ruby’s caller ID.

“Good afternoon,” her friend quipped, “How do you feel about a night at that new club that’s opened downtown tomorrow? Victor’s friend is an investor and he’s been comped a VIP table!”

Although Emma could hear the excitement in her friend’s voice, she couldn’t muster anywhere near that enthusiasm.

“I’m not sure,” she admitted, peeling off her leather jacket.

“Free drinks Emma! Come on, you’re my wingwoman!”

Emma rolled her eyes as she sat to toe off her boots, “Really? You’re taken, Rubes. And I’m guessing that Mr. Doctor is going to be there too?”

“Okay,” Ruby sighed, “Look, Victor has this friend and he kinda wanted to make it a double date so I said I’d talk to you.”

“Ruby,” Emma groaned, “Look, I’m sorry I have other plans.”

“Emma, that better not be getting drunk and buying things you don’t need off eBay, we talked about that-”

“No, I’m just-” she sought an excuse, “Tired.”

“Emma,” Ruby hissed in a warning tone, “What are you not telling me?”

This really wasn’t how she wanted to tell her friend.

“It’s Killian,” she admitted.

“What? Has he done something? Has he hurt you? Damn I’m gonna-”

“No,” Emma hissed, “Nothing like that. Just…” she took a deep breath “I’vekindabeensleepingwithhim” she blurted out, the words molding together into one big chunk.

“What the fuck? And you’ve been keeping this a secret for how long?”

“Just a couple of weeks,” Emma insisted, flopping back on her bed, the phone falling beside her ear. “It’s complicated.”

“What’s complicated about FINALLY banging your hot roommate, Emma? I can’t believe you’ve been holding out on me! Details, girl!”

“Well we haven’t really put a label on it yet…”

There was a short pause at the other end of the line.

“Well what do you  _ want _ it to be, Emma? Do you want to date him? Just fuck his brains out? You must have an idea.”

And as she lay on her bed and looked up at the ceiling, she had to admit to both of them, “I don’t really know.”

* * *

 

It was the first night that they hadn’t slept in each other’s arms and she missed him.

When she’d left her room to make dinner, he was nowhere to be seen. David had mumbled something about an emergency at the bar and Robin had given her a knowing look that she rebutted with a faint smile.

At least Robin didn’t seem to be making as big a deal of it. That was something.

She’d wanted to call or at least text Killian, but something held her back.

Was he doubting her - them?

What even were they? Where was this going...

With all those thoughts it was surprising she got any sleep and ended up spending a precious weekend morning off lying in bed with a blanket over her face trying to get a little more rest. When she finally rose, showered and dressed it was almost 2pm. She had three missed calls from Ruby and a dozen texts. But none from Killian.

She didn’t want it to sting. But it did. God, she wished she didn’t care. It would be so much easier.

After foraging enough food to make some semblance of a lunch, she slunk back to her room. Yeah, she had stuff to do. She needed to buy groceries (as evidenced by the bowl of Cheerios and cheese and cracker meal she was eating). She also needed to get gas for her car and pick up some dry cleaning that was already a week overdue. Instead she grabbed her laptop and pulled up Netflix. 

Somehow, four hours passed in a blur of vintage X-Files episodes and a truly awful Steve Guttenburg movie that was recommended to her. Seriously, she wondered how these goddamn algorithms worked. Since she’d worn her headphones for the duration she was (somewhat) blissfully unaware of who or what was going on in the loft. 

It was easier to pretend this way that everything was normal and the last 24 hours hadn’t happened.

Then nature called and as much as she twisted and crossed her legs she eventually had to concede defeat.

Sighing, she walked into the hallway, just as a knock sounded at the door. Probably one of the guys had forgotten their keys. It happened.

So when she pulled open the door she was not expecting to see Ruby Lucas.

“Get ready, we’re going out,” she quipped before Emma had time to say anything.

“Huh?” Emma sighed, scratching her head wearily as she took in the sight of her best friend.

“I don’t really know what’s going on with you and Mr. Tight Pants but I do know that you sitting here by yourself and brooding is not the answer. So we’re going out. Dinner reservations are for eight and you need a lot of work.”

“I’ve showered…” Emma began, before shaking her head, “Wait, I already said no to the club, Ruby.”

“We’re not going there,” she shrugged, “Hoes before... cock.” Ruby smiled wickedly. 

“You ditched the doctor?” Emma asked, surprised.

“Of course,” Ruby shrugged, “You may try and hide from me Emma, but I know you better than anyone. And tonight we need some girl time.”

Part of her wanted to say no and crawl back into bed and hide from the world just a little bit longer. But Ruby’s large, red lipped smile, topped with the knowledge that Emma kinda conceded that she was right (not that she would tell her friend that) meant instead she nodded and gestured to the loft, “Alright. You win Rubes.”

* * *

Killian had given her space.

That’s what she needed, right?

(Or he needed, or,  _ damn, _ he didn’t know).

Working a double shift at the bar was a perfect excuse for his absence today. Not that she’d asked, or he’d told her (or even seen her in the past day).

He looked at his watch and saw it was almost ten. Robin and Dave were going to meet him for some darts and a pint soon. It was Robin’s idea. Killian had said little to him about Emma but maybe his silence spoke volumes. He just hoped Dave had relaxed a little.

(Not that Killian had.)

He’d never intended for any of this to happen and part of him wanted everything to just go back to normal. So a post work drink with the guys was what he needed.

Maybe.

* * *

 

“Ruby, why are we here?” She asked as the cab pulled up at the familiar neon lights of Killian’s bar.

“I thought some drinks would be good.”

“ _ Here _ ?” Emma cried.

Ruby gave her a pointed look, “Is there a problem with my choice of location?”

Emma narrowed her eyes. Ruby had spent the past couple of hours trying to be her own version of subtle; trying to get Emma to talk about Killian. But Emma was having none of it. She’d insisted that it was no big deal. It was only sex. It was casual.

(Damn she was a good liar.)

“As long as I get to choose the next place,” Emma quipped, tossing her hair over her shoulder.

“Of course,” Ruby smiled.

They entered through the large doors at the front of the joint, the glass was already reverberating from the bass of whatever band was playing tonight. Emma licked her lips and schooled her features - she wasn’t even sure if Killian was working. He’d not mentioned it earlier. And it wasn’t as if they’d talked over the past day.

( _ She missed him. _ )

She pretty much held her breath for the dozen paces it took to walk to the bar. Only letting it out when she saw the only figure behind it was the burly, always frowning, Leroy.

Flopping her purse down on the wooden surface she pulled on a smile and said, “Scotch?”

With only a few grumbles, their bartender mixed up a Scotch on the rocks for Emma and a rose wine for Ruby. Emma gradually relaxed a little, already a little buzzed from the wine they’d had with dinner, feeling it seep into her muscles. For the first time since her last conversation with Killian, she felt calm.

Until she saw him across the room.

“He’s here,” she whispered to herself. Clearly not quiet enough if the way Ruby raised her brow was any indication.

“Killian?”

Emma nodded. Her gut twisted. He hadn’t seen her yet. Did he want to see her? God, how would he take her turning up here-

“Maybe we should go…”

Ruby placed a hand on hers, “I thought this was casual.”

Emma stared at her before taking a large gulp of whiskey.

“It’s okay to admit you actually like him Emma.”

Emma didn’t answer, instead staring at her hands.

“We had a… fight? He thinks he’s going to end up hurting me.”

Shuffling a little closer, Ruby tilted her head to her friend’s. 

“He thinks he’s not a good person. Or something.”

“And what do you think?”

It had never been easy for Emma to be honest with herself. She was stubborn. A weird kind of perfectionist who usually avoided situations she wasn’t in control of. So much of her job was about being strong and putting on a front that it had inevitably seeped into her private life. But she was a little tired and a little tipsy and Ruby was her closest friend-

She looked up and caught Ruby’s eye, “I think I might be falling in love with him.”

* * *

 

“You win,” Killian conceded. He gave David a small smile as the two resumed their places on the stools, leaving the darts for the next people waiting to use the board.

“First time for everything,” David nodded as they sat. Robin was at the bar refreshing their drinks.

“Aye.”

The fair haired roommate took a deep breath and then hesitated. 

“Look, Killian, about yesterday-”

“It’s fine,” Killian insisted, raising his hand.

Well, really it wasn’t.

“It’s just since I talked to you guys you’ve been acting weird.”

“Weird?” Killian quipped.

David stared him down in the way only he could.

“Okay,” Killian conceded, “You got me thinking. And I really haven’t been thinking lately.”

“And?”

Killian shrugged. “Maybe you’re right, and me and Emma is a bad idea. I don’t have the best track record.”

The two were quiet a moment while Robin dropped off a new round of beers and then excused himself to the restroom.

“Mary Margaret likes you, you know that?”

Killian raised an eyebrow.

“She thinks I’m too hard on you.”

With a smile, Killian took a sip of his new drink, “High praise indeed.”

“And she thinks Emma could be good for you.”

Freezing with his drink halfway between table and mouth, Killian sighed.

“She’s  _ too  _ good for me. We both know why she had to move into the loft in the first place - who’s to say I’m any better than that guy?”

David shrugged, “I can only go by what I know… and that’s that you would never intentionally hurt any of your friends.”

“Unintentionally?”

“We’re all capable of that, Killian.”

Killian stared into the amber liquid in front of him.

“I guess the million dollar question is - how do you feel about her?”

And that’s when his heart skipped a beat.

Because who would be across the room but Emma, goddamn Swan.

* * *

 

“He’s looking this way,” Ruby whispered over her second glass of wine. “We should go over. Say hi.”

“Ruby…” Emma sighed.

“Look, Em, you can avoid him all you want, but you guys live together and sooner or later you’re gonna be in the same room.”

“You’re irritating when you speak sense, Lucas.”

Ruby shrugged and picked up both of their drinks before she began sashaying across the room to where the men sat.

“Hey,” she beamed as she reached their table, “Room for two more?”

David and Killian looked up just as Robin reappeared. Emma gave Killian a small smile that he mirrored, but it seemed hollow and Emma felt herself deflate a little. 

Robin found two more stools and the five crowded around the table. 

Most of the conversation passed between Ruby, Robin and David, reminiscing about the engagement party and discussing their plans for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Emma wanted to talk to Killian, but they were on opposite sides of the table and it was tricky. He was avoiding eye contact and her heart sank further with each passing minute.

Clearly he’d decided what had happened was a mistake.

* * *

 

The conversation passed by in a blur. Killian laughed where he felt was appropriate, but otherwise let the other men take charge, brooding a little into his beer and giving Emma the occasional furtive glance.

She looked beautiful, of course. She always did. But he couldn’t ignore her quietness or the way she kept looking at her hands and playing with her purse.

(It was his fault, wasn’t it? She was hurting and it was his fault and before something had even begun he was doing what he did best-)

* * *

Emma felt like screaming. She wanted to say so many things. To drag Killian into a corner and have it out with him. But she was scared.

And Emma Swan was never scared.

Til now.

* * *

 

Goddamn he felt so awkward. How the hell had things turned out like this?

Grasping his glass until his fingers began to blanch, Killian dropped his head in resignation. Slowly he stood.

“I need to be off,” he explained, “Delivery day tomorrow.”

The friends expressed surprise and said their goodbyes. Except Emma. Emma was staring at her hands again. Her mouth open.

God he wanted to pull her close and kiss her.

But that would be selfish. Instead, he shrugged on his leather jacket and finished the rest of his drink, making only a few steps before he was halted.

“Stop!” Emma cried and Killian paused. The rest of the table turned to look at them. “You are not goddamn walking away from me again.”

* * *

 

Blood was coursing through her veins and her heart raced. She slowly stood and stared at him. His blue eyes met hers and instantly she saw all that vulnerability that he’d first revealed to her in that photo booth all those months ago. The real Killian he tried so hard to hide from everyone.

Maybe being brave was hard for him. Maybe she had to do it first.

“I love you,” she blurted out and she saw a flicker of emotion pass over his features, his brows raising and eyes widening. But he stayed frozen, his shoulders rising and falling quickly in time with his breathing. A lock of hair fell over his forehead and all she wanted to do was to reach out and push it back in place.

God, she  _ loved _ him.

Her voice cracked a little. “I know it sounds crazy, and sudden but-”

She was cut off when he kissed her. Closing the few steps between them in a heartbeat, his arms were around her and for a few seconds, time stopped. It was soft and gentle, his lips nipping against hers until she pushed forward, looping her arms around his neck and rocking up onto the balls of her feet.

“Emma,” he whispered, “Are you sure?”

She toyed with the lengths of his hair, only barely noticing their friends had discreetly turned away, giving them a quiet moment in the darkened corner of the noisy bar.

“Yes- I…” she sighed into his neck, “I want to try,” she admitted.

“I didn’t think anyone could ever care for me again.”

“Well I do.” Emma looked up into his eyes. “Call me foolish, or call me brave - I don’t care. What I _ do  _ know is you’re worth it.”

“You do?”

She smiled and pulled him into another kiss, the few drinks she’d had not letting her care who was watching as she tugged on his shirt.

Killian rested his forehead against hers, his cheeks flushed, “You do realize I’ve been in love with you pretty much since you walked in the door?”

“I think I have, too,” she smiled, “We just need to stop running away.”

Killian pulled back a little and looked at the table. Emma followed his gaze and laughed as David, Ruby and Robin tried to look like they hadn’t been watching the exchange between the pair.

“Well, maybe just one more time?” he asks, with grin.

“Yeah,” she laughs, grabbing her purse and offering a smile of apology to Ruby who merely grinned in reply.

And then Killian took hold of her hand and the two hurried to the exit, smiles on their faces. 

Outside, Emma slipped her hands around his waist.

“Hey,” she smiled.

“Hey,” he echoed, pulling her into another kiss that made her tingle from her lips down to her toes. “Can I ask you something?” 

“Hmm,” she hummed, soaking in the warmth of his body.

“Would you go on a date with me?”

Emma let out a peal of laughter before smothering his mouth with her own. 

“I think I’m a sure thing, Killian,” she teased.

“Yeah?” He asked.

“Uh-huh,” she grinned. “Take me home and I’ll show you.”

“An offer I cannot refuse,” he replied, almost falling over himself to hail the next cab as Emma laughed and realized that this was just about the happiest she had ever been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's done! Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing. Your feedback means THE WORLD to me. Watch out for another modern world AU coming very soon. And thank you to my amazing beta Nickillian/Ztofan!!


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